this is how ridiculous things are in my house
i need your experienced advice on this one.
my SD12 breaks things....("it broke" she says, dont know how) EVERY SINGLE TIME and DH finds excuses like ( i didnt SEE her break XYZ so i cant be sure") for her EVERY SINLGLE TIME. we all know the story, we go crazy trying to use common sense and logic to no end and we and up having big fights with DH for it to the point of thinking about divorce...
we had one of those incidents last week when SD'd laptop "broke". i found it broken and i was the one htat told DH, somehow he was mad at me. 
nothing happened to SD and DH once again said that he cannot tell if she broke it. i lost it and i went spet by step on the logic of who used it , when was it used, why she told my son that it was broken days before we found out, etc, etc. nothing worked, we fought ugly.
so here is the question for all of you: i went into SD's room yesterday to close her window (since she is away camping im getting some fresh air into that smelly room), i tripped on her stereo that lives on the floor (wrong place for it in my opinion) and i saw that on cable that goes to one of the speakers was completely detached. im sure that she was moving the stereo from here to there and stepped on the cable while holding the speaker and puff, "it broke"...BUT my suspition or what I think does not matter. this time i didnt say anything to DH. i kept it to myself, but im sure that somehow, this will end up been my fault "are you sure you didnt kick the stereo hard enought that maybve the cable got detached honey"?...
the question is: do i go to tell DH about my findings today -before SD comes back from camping-? do i wait and see what happens? for all i know the thing has been broken for a while and she is not saying anything to anyone....
i cant belive that i cant act naturally and tell my HUSBAND " hey love, look at this, it is broken" and have no fear of my marriange coming to an end
Stop telling him anything.
Stop telling him anything. leave it alone. If you are asked anything just say how would I know?
You can't make people see. You have to let go of the frustration that they don't and may never. Besides, its his money, right? If not, stop buying her things with your money. Honestly, who cares? if she can't take care of her stuff that's her problem and DHs.
SO bought SD a laptop- broke. An ipod= "stolen" (likely lost). He's given her 10 pairs of headphones and she lost all of them.
SO bought SS a smartphone, twice. The kid broke it twice. If I said anything, I was the asshole. I leave it alone and eventually he gets tired of it and says I'm not replacing anything.
you are sooo right Helena.
you are sooo right Helena. 100%. as you know prefectly well, your relationship with DH suffers a lot for the blindness, and i have t odecide if i want to sahre my life with a blind man.
What is unfortunate for me is
What is unfortunate for me is that he isn't blind. He knows and see's it. He's just stupid and weak when it comes to skids. :?
As long as it isn't my stuff
As long as it isn't my stuff getting 'broken' I don't care. Let it go. He will ask you if you know what happened and in all honesty you can say "No idea."
I would not tell him.
I would not tell him. History has proven he won't listen, he just gets mad (at you), so from now on, no matter what gets broken, just ignore it. But on the other hand, don't go out and replace it, don't even go help shop for it. Let DH sort it out. If this is costing you money to replace things, then that is a little different. You and DH areally are going to have to sort that out. But perhaps if he is replacing all her broken stuff, you might want to break some appliances or even some of his stuff and see how long he can afford to replace mysteriously broken stuff. After all, if he didn't see you break it, he can't be sure it was you can he. So he will just have to replace it. If SD sees you getting a whole heap of new stuff, she'll know exactly what is going on, so she may not want to give you the option of breaking stuff anymore by starting to look after her own stuff. Who knows, in the old days we would have smacked their bums or clipped their ears, and we never, never, never would have replaced things for a child who kept breaking them. But things are different now, people are scared of their kids and give into them all the time. Doesn't seem like they are turning out too well for the experience, they are turning into a generation of me, myself and I gimmie, gimmie, gimmie over indulged, over entitled people. Me, I'd chuck out the broken stuff and she could go without. Yes, even the laptop she desperately needs for school would be waiting for a long time, she could use the school library at lunch time for months till she saved up enough money to at least contribute to it. She does what she likes and there are no consequences, so she will continue. Good luck dad, I hope you have a well paid job to replace all the cars she smashes when she gets sick of them.
OMG-my YSD used to say this
OMG-my YSD used to say this crap all the time. Also, if she lost her money because she insisted on sticking it in the BACK pocket of her very tight jeans, the money was never lost in her eyes, but STOLEN. this way, she gets more money given to her by DH along with a large dose of sympathy.
After YEARS of so many of her belongings getting STOLEN in our sleepy little town in which the other three kids NEVER had anything stolen, I finally pointed it out to DH, who said, "oh she probably just doesn't want to admit she lost it". Hhhmm, so I guess lying was ok with him, but only if done by YSD. GAWD!!!!! If this sh*t wasn't so crazy, it would be comical!!!!