BM told my fiance this weekend that if/when she gets married, her husband will NEVER be involved with the kids. This was her jealousy of me talking, trying to justify that I should not go to a party that daycare was throwing for all the parents. Mind you, I'm his fiance, AND we are having a baby, AND we will be going to the same day care once baby is old enough to go...so it will be "my" day care also, AND I am very involved in the skid's lives as it pertains to everything including daycare (I help drop them off, pick them up, bring supplies, bring treats, etc). Daycare made it a point to EVERYONE that she really wanted ALL parents to go.

Fiance told BM that he HOPES that whoever she gets married to WANTS to be a part of the kid's lives in a positive way...he even used BM's stepfather as an example and she still didn't "get it". Her response was that her stepfather's situation isn't the same because her real father isn't involved in her life (he ran out on them when she was 8)...and she continued by saying, "the kids HAVE a mother." Okay, so I get it. She's still feeling insecure that I could be taking her place as a 'mother' to her kids.

Here is the blindingly obvious contradiction in BM's logic about her future husband. When Fiance and BM started dating, SD5 was only months old. SD's biological father and BM had broken up right before SD was born...and they had a bad breakup so at the time, SD's father wasn't seeing her much. Because my Fiance was so in love with being a new 'parent' to SD and enjoyed spending time with her, BM started calling him "Daddy". A few months into their relationship, bio-father came back into the picture and they went through the court system and he got every other Saturday visitation. The result: SD5 has two Daddy's and calls her bio-father "Daddy (First Name)" and my fiance just "Daddy". (Just to avoid confusion, Fiance 2 years later had a son with BM, so we have SS 50/50 now, and they agreed when they first broke up that they would continue to keep the siblings together...so we still take the girl/SD even though we are not by any court stipulation obligated to take her).

BM's logic is thrown out the window because stepdaughter HAD and HAS a father that is involved. However BM continues to put the main responsibilities of being a father to her on my fiance. She has not corrected this in 2 1/2 years since they've been broken up! So really, her daycare-party logic should have been to have her, my fiance, and SD's bio-father come go to the party if she really thought that only "parents" should go. She's such an idiot!