I'm rereading a good book on detachment, it is by Karen Casey. There are some good principles in which I am TRYING to live by. I want to quote a few things from the book:
There are 2 kinds of business, my business and none of my business.
Detachment is looking at life from a distance.
The more any one of us minds our own business, the less we are contributing to the level of drama in our homes.
Removing ourselves from the thick of a situation that is really none of our business is another way of interpreting the meaning of detachment.
Let the affairs of others belong to those rightful parties.
Allowing others to be responsible for themselves is like taking a vaction in the middle of winter or getting a snow day, when one least expects it. Its freeing, it's joyous.
Detachment is not being diminished by the behavior of others.
Detachment doesn't mean being uncaring. It doesn't mean being isolated and uninvolved. It means having emotional clarity, showing support where its needed, making apologies where necessary, and blaming no one.
Detachment is not about denying the present or the importance of anyone.l It's not about moving on without our loved ones. It's not about judgment. Detachment is about taking care of ourselves and letting others do the same.
Freedom for all is detachment in action.
Accountability, our and others is the hallmark of detachment.

Anyway, hope some of this gives you hope. I prefer detachment vs disengagement. I know it's similar. These are hard principals to follow, that is why I get this book out and reread it every so often. And this last weekend was a drama filled one...so I got out my book and found a little peace!