Lady, your kid deserves much better than you as a mom.

Don't care if that's harsh, if I knew you I would call Child Protective Services in a fucking heart beat.

How many more excuses can you make for your husband and step son to physically and mentally abuse your child?

You have to have a come to jesus conversation with your husband at a quiet time away from the children, and tell him that his behaviour with your son is not acceptable, that you are concerned that it stems from his own childhood, and that you can't allow it to happen any more. Either he gets help in addressing his own issues so that he doesn't take them out on the children and your son in particular, or the marriage will fail. No child should have to cope with fear and overbearing criticism and belittling behaviour on a daily basis. You need him to acknowledge and agree to that as a statement of fact.

I think it's very hard for someone from an abusive or dysfunctional childhood to escape from that and avoid repeating patterns or overcompensating, but you have no choice when you risk passing on that dysfunction to another innocent child. I live with a husband who unintentionally continues to act out issues from his dysfunctional childhood, fortunately, or unfortunately they are mostly focussed on me. I suspect it's harder for men because they tend not to reflect and analyse to the same degree and are less likely to deal with those feelings and put them to bed, and to continue to act them out in ways they don't even understand. There are many good books on the subject of emotional abuse, perhaps if you tried reading up and presented him with something to read it could help set him on the path to addressing his behaviour.

Agree with all the posters here.

If I knew you, I'd call the fuckin cops. You are abusing your own son by proxy. That is, you allow this to continue, do nothing to stop it and brought someone monstrous into your home.

SICK.

My old flat mate locked my dog outside in the rain deliberately to be cruel and I came home unexpectedly. I had a hunch something was going on when Dolly cowered around her.

What did I do? Told that animal abuser to move the FUCK out. What worried me was not what I had discovered but the fear of what went on when I wasn't there. That's what I did for my dog that I love to death, I protected her but this is your LITTLE BOY, YOUR SON.

What does your husband do to your son when you are not around?

Doesn't bear thinking about.

You're the kind of Mom I read about on Dreamindemon.com, all these excuses abut how wonderful the husband is and how he would never physically hurt a child......until the story of a murdered child is on the news and the BM comes in to defend the husband.

Seriously, have I disgusted/scared you enough yet?

A 1993 British study found the incidence of abuse was 33 times higher in a household where the mother was living with an unrelated boyfriend. And a study presented at the American Academy of Pediatrics of 175 Missouri children under the age of 5, who were murdered between 1992 and 1994, found that the risk of a child's dying at the hands of an adult living in the child's own household was eight times higher if the adult was unrelated.

End this situation NOW for the health of your son!

What the heck is with these women who put their love for a man above the safety and well being of their own children??? You are allowing your husband AND stepson to abuse your son.

I hope your son tells a teacher, coach, friend's parent.... what is going on in your home. Hopefully that person will call CPS and they will get that poor kid away from all of you.

I agree with the others above except I don't think any counseling is going to help. Large people usually learn early on in childhood that either they can make their way by bullying or by becoming overly non-threatening. Mostly its taught by their parents.

Your guy gets his way in the world by being a bully. It's a permanent part of his psyche and no amount of counseling is going to help short of a super-human effort on his part. Sure go ahead and have that meeting with him when its nice and quiet and nothing is happening that he considers irritating or threatening. He can agree to anything then. Ask him to go with you to counseling he might even agree. But he won't make it past one meeting and my bet is he won't go. That is your signal. It's not going to get better.

So you either wait and see if your kid gets hit or worse or the psychological damage is so great it can't be reversed. Or you leave. The sooner you leave the better for your kids. Then, maybe, you've have custody of the one giant kid to break the mold.

I'm not sorry my post was harsh at all. I'm sorry that a little boy lives in a home where he is too frightened to ask his step dad for his favourite blanket.

Also, if this was a SM to the OP' s son posting this instead of the OP, everyone in the forum would be demanding the SM call CPS and would be lambasting the BM without question.

Op has been a registered member for 15 hours.

Next!

Your son deserves better than this, OP. He didn't ask to be put in this situation, and YOU are the only one who can save him from it. I can't imagine what a hellish life that has to be for him, and he apparently has no one to protect him from it.

You say you both grew up in dysfunctional families, so you should know better than anybody how much that sucks, and how bad it can screw a kid up. WHY are you allowing your son to grow up in the very same fucked up sort of situation?!

After DH and I first got married about a year ago, I felt he was a bit too harsh with my son. The skids would do stuff, then blame it on my son, and without even bothering to try to find out the truth, DH would automatically jump all over my son. DH was a lot harsher with my son than he EVER was with his own kids, and I saw that plain as day.

I put a stop to that IMMEDIATELY. I let DH know that that shit would NOT be tolerated, and if it continued, my kids and I would be GONE. NO WAY was I going to subject my son to that sort of treatment, and my situation was nowhere near as bad as the one your son's currently having to live with.

You need to stand up to your husband, for your son's sake. If you don't, NO ONE will, and it will only get worse once your husband sees that this sort of behavior is okay.

Long story short - if your husband doesn't get his shit together and STOP all that abusive shit IMMEDIATELY, you and your kids (the baby, too), need to be GONE. FOR GOOD.

Don't give him a deadline. No. It has to stop NOW. Please think of your son and what this is doing to him. Any person who would feel free to treat any child this way has NO BUSINESS being around children.

I sure as hell hope this is a crew. Because, if not, you are wasting time OP typing for advice of strangers on the internet when you could be packing boxes or getting the locks changed.

THIS IS A LITTLE 7 YEAR OLD BOY, FFS! PROTECT HIM.

My husband grew up with a severely abusive father and a mother who was also being abused. He has less of a relationship with HER because she didn't PROTECT HIM.

do the same exact thing to his son and see what he says,

My kids' bio-dad was abusive toward me. I thought life would be very hard on my own. It was hard to think of leaving and going it alone. Ultimately my train of thought went exactly like this:

It was not what he was doing to me that mattered so much, it was what he was doing to our children that did. I didn't want my son growing up believing hitting a woman was normal or ok. I didn't want my girls growing up thinking it was ok for a man to abuse them. And I was out.

My kids were very young when I left. Best decision I ever made. Getting by was easier without someone who liked to drink up a bunch of money every week. I had more money without him. Use your support system. If you don't have one, find out what help is available for you.

I don't always look at myself as the most compassionate person in the world; but seeing my childrens' spirits broken (at different times in their lives) was heart-wrenching and awful as a mother. I don't know how you can be around someone who does that to him. My heart breaks for him.