Hello all -- this may be a bit long, and I apologize in advance! Have been an occasional poster here for about a year now, frequent lurker! My DH and I have been married almost 5 years. We have 4 children between us -- my BS18, BD15, SS19 and SD13. His kids have 2 different BMs, mine are both with my XH. My DH is basically a good man....kind-hearted, means well....but he has no job and very little money. He is 50 years old and has been unemployed for 2 months. I am 46 and a teacher. Between our combined divorces, his child support he has paid over the years (and still pays for SD13, as he should), credit card debt, etc. we basically have nothing. I am very scared and worried for our future.
For better or worse, DH and I have separate accounts. Mine is currently overdrawn. I spend very little on myself but am probably guilty of trying to do too much for my kids. My BD15 is a very high achiever -- straight A's, involved in many activities. My son is the opposite -- he has made some bad choices, and I am trying to help him "dig out" from those and have a future. My XH pays required, court-ordered child support for our daughter, but rarely helps with any additional expenses for her. I pay my own car payment, cell phone bill, etc. Luckily we own our (modest) house outright, so no worries about a mortgage payment.
I know that I personally have not managed my money the best way, and am going to have to take a second job or cut back somehow. (I have already applied for a second job online....continuing to look for more opportunities.) I think what worries me the most is my husband's laid-back attitude about it all. He says he has his résumé "out there" online, and feels certain that something will come along. I feel like he should be doing more to find a job -- going to job fairs perhaps? Knocking on doors?? I don't know....I am just so frustrated! He and SS19 were laughing uproariously a few mins ago, watching funny videos together on U-Tube. Really?!? Can he not be doing something to find a job??
I find myself looking back on my first marriage and wondering if I should have tried harder. My XH, although we obviously had our differences, was a good provider for our family. I never worried about money then. Now I do 24/7.....
Just kind of wondering if there's anyone else out there who is married but more or less "on their own" financially. Thanks for reading.