:? Family dinamics: We have 4 kids between us, BD24, BS22, SD16, and SS12. My BD has her own townhouse, my BS lives at college all year because he attends classes all year, he's in Pharmacy school. Skids come every other weekend.

So I planned a weekend trip for my DH and I the weekend of July 19 - 21. This is not our scheduled weekend for his kids. I thought we could take our camper and go towards the town where my BS22 lives. I haven't seen him since memorial day and his birthday is 7/19. I thought it would be nice to take him to dinner that night and then have an adult weekend after maybe with my daughter and her fiance. I'm sure BD like to see her brother for his birthday also.

DH seemed to like the idea a lot. But later that evening after his nightly call to the Skids (SD16 and SS12) I was informed we would have SS12 for that weekend because bio mom made plans to go away with friends to the beach. He said "SS12 would have to go with us, but not SD16, she has other plans." I told him that isn't fair for bio mom to schedule this without talking to him first and I don't want SS12 to go with us. I need a break from all of the drama and really an adult weekend. We had a really rough vacation with the kids last week with SD16 being the main cause. Additionally, SS12 is has been diagnosed ADHD and is very difficult to manage sometimes. He's on medicine to help, but it's still a lot of work. I never tell DH that I don't want to be with SS12, but I really do need a break.

I feel very quilty for saying this to him, but after the past weeks vacation drama It's the truth! Do I let the SS12 go with us? DH did contact bio mom and asked her to make other arrangements. But I don't know if she'll be able to find help because others (including grandparents) can't manage SS12 very well.

What should I do? Hold my ground, or give in?