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Easter: What's your opinion

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 1:46pm

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Blended Family Issues

My bios will be with us for Easter weekend and the beginning of spring break. Their dad will take them camping on the 2nd half of spring break.

SS13 will be spending Easter eve and Easter day with his mother for the first time in 7 years.

My father recently passed away and i kind of just wanted to go to a fun outing with the kids an DH rather than entertaining family and I'm pretty sure my Step Mom won't be up for entertaining either, so...

I know that if I suggest an outing to somewhere fun: an amusement park, the beach, the city, etc, that DH will feel sorry for SS missing it. But I still want it to be a great Easter for my kids even though I'm not really up for hosting a big shindig.

We aren't a very religious family, so the holiday is more about fun and family than anything else.

What do you think?

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 1:51pm

You recently had a major bereavement - your feelings should be uppermost in the family's sensibilities for this reason. Do what YOU want to do and what you feel up to doing. Enjoyable events don't have to be postponed just because SS isn't there - the rest of the family matters too.

tradingplaces's picture

Submitted by tradingplaces on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 2:51pm

Agree with the others. Anyone who has been through the grieving process understands - do what you need to do.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 3:11pm

So sorry SS will miss out, but that is life.

I think you should not feel bad about it and do what you truly want. You and your kids should not have to forgo something just because SS will not be there. Then, they are missing out because of SS! That's not fair, either.

I am very sorry about your father.

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 3:44pm

Thanks everyone. I feel the same way, but just like to check myself every now and then - especially since DH recently told me that I should try to plan all of our fun things this summer when SS13 will be with us.

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 6:37pm

"should try to plan all of our fun things this summer when SS13 will be with us."

In my opinion, this is so unrealistic and I understand your frustrations. My MIL has the exact same mentality. Skid used to be week on week off, and she expected EVERYONE in her extended family to schedule their parties, get togethers, bar-b-ques, around skid, like they don't all have lives of their own. We had a death in our family, a really traumatic one, and she had skid's bday party the next day after the funeral come Hell or high water and expected everyone to be there with bells on.

Like the other poster said, that is just the life of a skid. They miss out on things. You shouldn't feel pressured to plan your life around him, especially now. I would not worry about it. Go do what you want and have fun.

christinen's picture

Submitted by christinen on Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:49am

I agree, that is the life of a skid. Sometimes they will be around and sometimes they won't be. You have just went through a MAJOR loss (I lost my father 3 years ago so I understand) and you really shouldn't have to worry about making skid happy right now. The holiday is already probably going be rough for you, so the less stress and worry, the better.

jumanji's picture

Submitted by jumanji on Sat, 03/23/2013 - 7:13am

I'd suggest doing something fun, but beat Dad to the pass by suggesting that you ALSO plan a similar outing when your stepson can join all of you.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 03/23/2013 - 7:28am

If your husband is going to feel bad about his son not going, leave husband behind.

Just go with your kids and have a blast.