BM says she doesn't have to pay ...
BM and DH have joint legal custody and DH has primary custody. BM has SS14 every other weekend and had him more during the summer. An order was recently issued that she is to pay for half of medical.
So we sent her a summary of the first month's counselling expenses and his new glasses and contacts. I knew she would try and weasel out of paying for couseling. 1) it's not covered by our insurance so it's expensive and 2) She's a rat.
So DH gets a check and a letter from her yesterday stating that she does not agree to him going to counseling and she has joint legal, she won't be paying. Now, let's not forget that the woman pays for nothing, shows up for nothing, doesn't take SS to his things during "her time" etc, etc.
Hmmm. Why does SS need couseling? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you left him when he was 5 and decided to be a partying lesbian instead of a mother. Then you spend the next 7 years showing up anannounced and drunk, cause a big dramatic situation then take off for another 3-6months. Oh and then of course there was the popping of the tires, the sugar in the gas tank... the restraining order
and now that she has her visitation for the past two years, she is now often drunk and telling SS that she is going to kill herself, she is going to give DH full custody... oh I don't know why he'd ever be in need of counseling.
I don't think she has to pay
I don't think she has to pay either under the current order as you explained it.
But maybe I'm wrong. Save the receipts up for a year and sue her in small claims court which is usually good for 5 to 10 grand.
I think OCC and broken are
I think OCC and broken are correct. She doesn't have to pay if they have joint custody. DH and BM have to agree on the treatment. I just discussed this with our lawyer. If they don't agree, then you have to go to court before treatment and have a judge decide. Exceptions would be medical treatment that is an emergency. She could actually take you to court for taking him without her agreement.
I wanted DH to take our skids to counseling and BM wouldn't allow it. Lawyer told us we would have to take her to court. If we took them without her consent she could file that we are violating the agreement. If she won, the judge could award sole custody with visitation only. Basically if the judge feels that the two biological parents are being childish and can't agree then he will change it to sole custody for the parent that currently has physical custody so it isn't an issue. Maybe that might be something for you to consider. If a judge did this, you would get to make the decisions and she would have to pay.
She definitely wouldn't be made to pay if she doesn't agree to it. If she originally agreed and is now changing her mind maybe but you still would have to file to get the money.
Funny. Prior to sending the
Funny. Prior to sending the bill to BM I posted on this same board and the advice stated she'd have to pay.
She also attended an
She also attended an appointment with ss back when we had an HMO so she's known he's been going. We just transferred to a new provider after insurance changed.
Just because she knew,
Just because she knew, doesn't mean she agreed.
DS23's dad knew I put him in private school and he attended a private, out of state college. However, his dad didn't agree with either decision (of course he was the proud, smiling dad on graduating day) and did not help pay.
Judge/Legal Precedent is what
Judge/Legal Precedent is what our lawyers told us. She said that most judges are really annoyed when these cases end up in their courtroom. She told us that history would be to split the expenses and designate custody to one parent(usually CP since they usually have the kids) for these decisions in the future.
Your case makes me really scared for DH for the future. I know he will eventually end up in court over this as well.
What state are you in? We are in NY.
Send the bill. She should
Send the bill. She should pay but she may not. We had this same crap to deal with for the 17+ years of our Custody/Visitation/Support CO. The CO was clear. The NCP (The Sperm Idiot) pays for half of the additional cost of medical coverage (provided through my employer) and half of any medical expenses not covered by insurance. His share of the medical insurance premium was added to his CS obligation. As for his half of med costs not covered by insurance ...... he never paid a dime and when we brought it up in family law court the Judge told us to take it to small claims court.
We hung that over the DipShitIots head for more than a decade sending him quarterly statements showing what he owed, accruing interest and penalties (hey, if credit card companies can do it why can't we). He and Sperm GrandHag would freak out about it particularly when the Skid got old enough to do his own research in our Custody/Visitation/Support files and would ask them while on visitation "Dad, why don't you pay mom the $X,XXX.oo that you owe her for when I was born, broke my arm busted out my front teeth, got glasses, etc.....?"
In our state....anything not
In our state....anything not stipulated in the agreement to be split...is not split...ugh I know. Items not included in the agreement that one party decides without the other parties written agreement is not to be split. I would go on record by sending her via email (or another way where you have proof of delivery) of all receipts...and keep the receipts and document every contact with the other party.....you may find yourself back in court and need this proof.
Even though they have joint
Even though they have joint legal the custodial parent gets the final say in medical, religious upbringing and etc. She should have to pay.
Oh I agree. I'm going to send
Oh I agree. I'm going to send her her next Bill tomorrow, remind her that she has attended one of his counseling appointments in the PST and even wrote about it in a declaration for court (and it's on file), remind her that the court order also requires that she provide health insurance so she's welcome to do that as well. And oh yes. It doesn't say anywhere that they need to agree on treatments.