The drama continues ... Question for all of you out there dealing crazy ex wives who happen to be a bio-mom

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So I am on here every so often, usually when something is bothering me about an effort by my MIL or my husband's ex wife. So about 3 weeks ago, my husband who recently started speaking to his mother again after she helped his ex-wife get an ex-parte order (based on complete lies, did not even have the right county we live in on it, and she knows what county that is because that is where the boys still go to school and have gone to school for 5 years) to take his kids away because he was done marching to her tune, tells this same mother said my husband needs to go to "family counseling" with his ex-wife. UMM WHAT? :jawdrop: I myself have gone to counseling on occasion with my ex, but it was simply parental involvement for my son's therapy, no one would call it family counseling. Add to this, this particular counselor, is a biblical counselor. So tell me now that my husband has spoken to the therapist over the phone and scheduled an appointment with his ex-wife, how should I feel?

I do not have an issue with my husband speaking with a therapist who is halping his son, I do not care if his ex-wife is present and part of the discussion, what I do object to is this therapy being labeled "family therapy". She left him in 2005, 8 years ago, the biggest favor she ever did for me, and now they are going to "family therapy"?

The son's issue outside of conduct disorder and ODD, is that he wants his parents back together, his ex-wife thinks them getting back together will fix all her debt problems, has tried to convince my husband they "belong" together, so why should I not believe this is a ruse to solidify these ideas in not only my husband's mind, but his son's?

Does your DH know how you

Does your DH know how you feel?? If not I would bring it up and the moment he goes is the moment your relationship is over... No need for that I feel for you!

I would be LIVID!!!

I would be LIVID!!! Personally, but then, our BM only RECENTLY faced the fact that she can't have my husband, my house, my anything!!! (She'll just have to go get her own).

BUT, you set the precedent by going to therapy with your ex. Just because it's called "family therapy" isn't it the same thing you did?

Sorry, I don't like to be on the BM's side about anything ever, so can you explain how it's differet than what you did?

It is not therapy about the

It is not therapy about the skid, it is therapy for the BM and the OPs DH to have a better relationship and to fix things.

The OP went to therapy sessions for her child that exh was also required to go to as well for their mutual child.

The biggest difference is

The biggest difference is that I have never told my children I want to be back together with their father. In fact just recently my daughter asked me if there was a chance of that happening while my husband was sitting next to me, I explained that her father and I were much happier people apart, and that we both had found other people who made us happy.

My hubby's ex goes on and on about poor her, all she wants is to get back with my husband, and says it directly to the boys, they have even told me after my husband and I break up their parents are going to get back together, which I explain to them is not going to happen, us breaking up that is.

So then you send the problem child, who can't face reality to see his therapist which every one including his grandmother is calling "family therapy" how is that not going to encourage this kids delusions, delusion being fostered by the mother.

And what is the deal with biblical counselors? Do I have to worry that her purpose is to bring the original family back together? Regular counselors that the boy was taken to were not hip to the crap the mother and grandmother is spewing so the mother and grandmother looked for other ones, now they found this one, and her great idea is "family counseling" for my husband and his ex-wife?

k now i understand your

k now i understand your concerns here, but my mantra in life with disagreements is that each side is right and each side is full of **it part of his points are valid and some are lame excuses in an effort to please everyone. some of your points are valid and some are just insecurities. He has every right to go to the therapy session and i think, especially if you guys have been together for a long time, you have every right to tag along even if in the waiting room as someone suggested. He doesnt have the right to make you feel like you are out of the loop and he should find a way to include you. it seems to me like you have some serious trust issues with ur husband from what your saying... He is your husband and you should be able to trust him. i think you 2 need to sit down and explain to him your concerns calmly and let him know youre worried about their intentions if only so he can reassure you that hes committed to you. As for the mommy mind tricks and giving her kids false hopes you and him should both sit down with the kids and explain to them that "mommy" is mad and sad and as much as she wants to be with him that it isnt something that can happen. that you tried to be together but he wasnt happy and sometimes its better for mom and dad to be apart. you have to not just explain that you arent breaking up but explain why and explain that their mom is only saying those things because she is mad or sad or upset or whatever wording you like, but make it clear that it isnt something HE wants or ever will. Good luck!

I would go beserk if SO

I would go beserk if SO wanted to go to counselling with any BM - there is 2. The one that may ask is a whack job and if her kids need counselling it is because of her. I think SO would laugh at the suggestion. I have been trying to tell my latest BM story the last two days but this site won't let me create a new topic.

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