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Court dropped RO's against BM

iamleann's picture

Submitted by iamleann on Mon, 09/09/2013 - 4:50pm

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I've had a Restraining Order on BM for a year, and SO had one for a little over a month. It was HEAVEN !! The most peace we've ever had in our relationship. He finalized his divorce and custody agreement 4 weeks ago. Part of the agreement for custody was that the RO be dropped so they could "communicate" about SS8. But ONLY to communicate about SS and incase of emergency. My RO was due to be renewed this week, so we went to court today and her lawyer gave the judge a sob story about how BM wants to move on with her life and get a job (yeah right, she's never worked) and can't have this hanging over her head, and now that the divorce is finalized she can work out her animosities in "Family Therapy". So, the judge dropped it !! Even tho she's violated it several times and is currently on probation for it.
Part of me is happy I'm not "tied" to her in anymore. Even seeing both our names on a court document makes me gag! Another part of me feels like the court has rolled out the red carpet for her to go right back to stalking, threatening and harassing and making our lives as difficult as possible.
I asked my SO about "Family therapy" and he said he has no plans to do any such thing for her. the court recommended quarterly mediation for help co-parenting, but there is no plan for Family Therapy.
This is a woman who has threatened my business, me, my dog....she even called SO last night and made threats about what she would do if I didn't go into court and drop it, and threatened to have me pay her legal fees. She can't help herself, she has no job, no life, and only has SS8 3 school days a week. I don't get how she gets away with being crazy over and over again.
I'm disappointed in the court.....

christinen's picture

Submitted by christinen on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 1:47pm

Wow.. just wow.. we unfortunately cannot rely on our court system to protect us. A good friend of mine was with a guy a few years back who abused her to no end. He not only verbally berated her, but he would literally punch her in the face like she were a man. She finally had enough and got the courage to leave. She went to court and got a PFA order thinking it would force him to leave her alone.

When he found out what she had done, he continued to beat her and violate the order over and over again with no punishment. It was absolutely sickening. He almost killed her. That was when I realized that a RO/PFA really is just a piece of paper.

My SD's BM has threatened me numerous times but I have done nothing because I know it will make no difference when it comes down to it. I have witnessed it.

It's horrible that the judge dismissed your RO. He's basically saying go ahead BM, go threaten and do as you will and you will not be held accountable for any of it. Ugh, I hate our system!

Stupidlyoptimistic's picture

Submitted by Stupidlyoptimistic on Wed, 09/11/2013 - 1:44pm

I have thought about getting one against BM several times. She stalks me and my family in an attempt to get back at my DH. She threatened to show up at my parents house several times, to which she was informed my dad would call the cops and possibly shoot her on site if she presented a threat to anyone in his home while trespassing. Don't mess with a southern farmer's daughter. Wink That was enough to keep her off the property. I would document everything and have the RO reinstated as soon as she starts her threats again. It sounds like the court has backed it up with consequences previously if she is on probation. I would think it would be easy to reinstate it again later due to the history with her. Of course, we all know logical thinking goes out the window with crazy people and the legal system. Ugh!