Most of you won't recognize me - but I'm not new. Its been awhile since I have posted anything. I have been reading and lurking anonymously on and off for months, but mostly have removed myself from writing anything due to what we all can mostly understand as legal and ex drama. I'm feeling better about some of those issues now, and am sticking my toe in the water here.

I have been so frustrated for the last couple of weeks and have just felt completedly disrespected and unappreciated with respect to my SD. There is a lot of history here, but the short version is my two bio kids live with us full time. She (age 12) used to live with us every other week for about six month before she was moved out of state by her mother. We now see her on holidays and school breaks and during the Summer. Obviously not an ideal situation for anyone, including the SD. I do have a lot of empathy for her and wish things were different. Her circumstances have nothing to do with me, and I was not the reason behind her parents' divorce. she knows this logically. Unfortunately, though, I think I have become the whipping post for her. She looks at me, and I know she blames me for everything. But that is another issue and I digress.

My current issue is that I spent a ton of time shopping for her birthday and for Valentine's Day both of which were this month. I wrapped the presents, bought cards, saw that something special was delivered to her. I made sure that things were delivered days in a row so she was continually getting packages each day. Her cards were signed "Love Dad and Stressed SM", or from the kids. The packages were delivered and several of them had my name and work address on them. She clearly knows they are from us. She doesn't call us any day during this period to say she received them. Her father called her on her birthday to tell her H.B., and see what she has planned and all that. I got on the phone during their conversation to say H.B., and see if she liked her presents. She said yes, but not thank you. She recited some of her gifts back which were from us, telling me that they came from her grandparents instead and had called them to thank them. ?? OK. I didn't bring it up at the time. I told her father afterward and he called her back to clarify with her that the gifts were from us. Still no thank you.

About a week later, my DH gets a card in the mail for Valentine's Day, addressed to him, and only him. The card said "I love you dad", with the you underlined. Hi.. thanks for the message. For some reason when I saw this, I just felt immediately like this is the way it will always be. I do feel slighted. This isn't new really. I spoke to my DH about it and he agreed and said he would work on it when she is with us.. but by then, he'll forget, or there will be a reason he doesn't. He does not have the best communication skills when it comes to the Ex or his daughter. This may not seem like a huge deal, but this one thing in a two-year history of deals. Including, two years of dating... even when we were dating, she sold a ton of girl scout cookies. She and her mom created these really cute thank you ntoes to give to people. Do you know everyone got one but me. Every year everyone has got one, but me. And my DH doesn't say a word.

There are days I truly believe strangers in the street get more common courtesy than I do.