New here *waves* I'll try to keep it short.

DH has 1 son and 1 daughter previous marriage
Myself has 2 sons previous relationship

DH+myself= 1 child together

My DH and I were stationed on one part of the country, we chose our station (military)clear across the country, away from my family and friends to be closer to his BS and BD. Once we got here he avoided them at all cost...and has avoided the ex... It's been over 2 years now and he has seen them about 3 times.

At one point he said he wanted to give up his rights to the ex wife's new husband and that he has no strong bond with his BS and BD :jawdrop: "then why did we move here?" was my question in my head.

I have tried numerous times to encourage his involvement with them, to take them out or have them spend the night here. He becomes very defensive and closes off. I mention anything about me being their step mom and he snaps back " NO you're NOT, you have no involvement with them!". I want to have involvement and enjoy those kids but he is hell bent against it. :?

He took all of us ( myself,My BSons) to meet the kids and they got along great, we played and visited for hours! Since then we have had another child ( together ) and he has not met his half B and S. I brought this up and he got upset.

I've tried talking to him but he shuts down, I've written him emails while he is underway but he just doesnt want me or my boys involved. I feel like he has un resolved feelings and issues with the ex and maybe is confusing that with feeling towards the children.

either way I feel bitter and angry now when he talks ( complains ) about the ex and the kids. I told him yesterday that I was not going to talk to him about them but that I would listen, but don't ask me for advice.

My thing is, if you are going to pay child support, move your whole family closer to your kids, you are not going to give up your rights then why avoid your Bio kids and why are you hell bent on blending the families together?

any help or advice would help.

THANK A BUNCH