My fiance's has two boys with his ex. She had a-bad-drug problem and when they split up, my fiance was paying child support but she left the boys with her parents and took off. My fiance got custody, and we have been raising them for 2 years.
Now, after almost 5 years of being mostly OUT of the boys' life (sometimes by choice, for the last 3 years-incarcerated), she is getting out of jail. She only has one month until she is 'out', and she has started calling them collect from jail, and writing them letters. The boys tell us she talks about getting them back when she gets out and how much she loves them. When SS11 got in BIG trouble for stealing (cops called, no charges) she told him that she was sure he hadn't done it, not her baby, and "he could do no wrong in her eyes".
I don't know how to handle the thought of her getting out of jail and being in the picture. What happens if she gets out, and she wants custody. Even worse, what if the boys want to live with her?! Their father will fight for them, obviously. But he will be heartbroken if the boys choose to live with a loser mother, and not a hard working father who has busted his a$$ for them. I don't think their relationship will be the same if this happens...