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Any one else dealing with competition???

dysfunctional in va's picture

Im New here and must say I am relieved I am not the only person in the world that dislikes the stepkid. I am so thankful that I can vent to people who will understand. I have 3 bio kids, bs18, lives on his own, bd12 and bs11. Then the nightmare that comes every other weekend, ss almost 11, but acts like he is 3. The SS went back to bm last night, so im able to leave my room. He talks like a baby to my husband, cant brush his own hair, gets away with everything and is a spoiled brat. I try to be close to him and create a bond but his head is stuck up daddy's ass. He sits on his dads lap, he weighs over 110 lbs. My kids aren't perfect, but they get good grades, never get in trouble in school and help with house chores without being asked. SS gets horrible grades, got kicked off the bus last year and his desk was smack up against the teachers desk because he couldn't shut hidmouth and distracted the other kids. But, nothing was done about it...blame was put on the teacher WTF??? I have tons of other things to bi*tch about, and I will ...later. it seems that its become a competition between bio kids and stepson..does any one else deal with this?? By competition...I mean if I buy my kids something they live with me full time, ss has to get same thing, only better...even if he has one at his bm house. Thank you to whoever created this site...and God bless all the step moms!!!

Kes's picture

Oh yes, there are plenty of us on here that can't stand our SKIDS, and don't give a monkey's that they don't like us. I raised two pretty normal, grounded daughters, and they are both off in the world making their own way. The SDs - 17 and 15 will probably be metaphorically sitting their great cuckoo arses on DH's lap till they are 37 and 35 at least. Expensive private schooling since age 4, but both failing in school - how do they DO that? Heads up his arse every other weekend. Welcome to step hell!!! }:) }:) }:)

RedWingsFan's picture

I can't stand my SD14. So glad she's decided her momma's place is "better" than ours and hasn't come over in months. We're actually moving to a 1 bedroom apartment so we can save money since we don't need 2 bedrooms without her coming over anymore! Can't wait till she finds that out!!!

Frustrated816's picture

We've got some of the same issues going on too, although I think it's more of an entitlement issue than competition. Sd15 lives with us full time and thinks if my daughters 12 and 7 get a drink from Sonic while she stays the night with a friend that she should get one when she gets back. She even says the once a month date night that my husband and I have is unfair b/c she doesn't get to go out to eat that night. I've been reminding her that when kids expect things from me they get noting (same rule I taught my kids at age 2). I think that we have to be very clear that we owe them nothing beyond their basic needs, anything beyond that must be earned. Good luck!

goincrazy.com's picture

SD15 is always in competition, She also has decided her mom's place is better then ours, thank GOD! MY life has been so much better and less stressful since she hasn't been around. She only calls her dad when she needs money or wants something.
SD15 also felt as though I should have to do everything for her that FDH does for my daughter....NOT!!!! And I straight up told her ass what the deal was. She hates me and said I ruined her life- Thats great. Stay at your moms. When I thought I couldn't live another day with her being at the house it did get better. Our feelings are mutual and I stand my ground with her so she stays away. And she HATES that her daddy is so in love with me Smile

The_Other_Mother's picture

Yes!! every damn day! I'm so sick of it I want to :sick: I'm also sick of the fact that my Bio-daughter hardly gets any recognition for being good the way she is supposed to.

EdgeOfReason's picture

If mom is treating this boy like a baby (infantilism) or asking him to go beyond his maturity to support her (parentalism) it could explain why the kid regresses with his father.

My ss didn't know how to do age appropriate stuff until I taught him or challenged dh on why the kid wasn't learning this. Mom vacillates between the two extremes of either treating him like a baby and having him parent her.

Is this kid in counseling?

AliciaMarie80's picture

Yes, my 5 yo SS and my 6 yo BS compete constantly but its in the form of constant bickering

memphismama's picture

Oh, yeah. But it's more with the dh than the kids. And my girls are grown and out making their way in the world, but let them come for a visit and everything that dh sees that is not right is blamed on my girls. Most of the time he will ask his boys if they did so-and-so, but their standard response is denial, so he tells me it must have been whichever girl was here. He's in denial about his kids 100%, but it does make me see red sometimes. The one that really got me was when ss15 slept on the couch so my daughter could have a bed for the one night she was here, and when dh found a plate and fork with remains of chocolate cake UNDER THE COUCH the next day he said " J. must have left this here"! Really?!?!?! She got up in the middle of the night and ate cake and hid her plate under where your son was sleeping? Hah! Sorry, dude, raised my kids and by the time they were three they knew dishes didn't go under the couch!