I have done a lot of research lately on disengaging from my 3 skids. I also think it will be the best thing for my DH to disengage from my son as well. The questions that I have

*How far has YOUR disengagement gone? Do you do separate laundry? Cook separate meals? Buy separate groceries? Christmas/holidays together?

*How did your DH find out about the disengagement? Did you talk about? Talk to the kids about it? Did you just start doing it little by little without a discussion? I personally think my DH would be against this. He thinks we can be one big happy family. Like a lot of DH's, he doesn't "get" where I'm coming from.

*If you are fully disengaged, how do you handle the little every day stuff? Open microwave-total mess. I would normally clean it. None of kids admit to it. Who cleans it? Picture frame is smashed on the floor. I usually would clean it up. Nobody broke it. Who picks up the mess?
Is there a happy medium? Or is it all or nothing.

Please share your experience and knowledge