Hi, my 3 SS8, 12 & 15 moved in with me and their dad shortly after we got married (10 years ago). I felt like I'd been tricked! I was certainly not ready to share my new husband with his 3 boys full-time! In addition, the youngest had very challenging behaviour and was constantly in trouble at school. Their BM is a strange woman who is totally lacking in maternal instinct despite the fact she's had 3 kids. She was all for them moving in with us. My situation was compounded my own infertility and failed IVF attempts. In those early days, my DH and I used to have occasional short-breaks as it was the only way we could get some alone time together. Luckily the eldest SS was old enough to supervise the other two whilst we were away. I managed my role in the best way I could; attending parent's evenings, organising family holidays, days out etc. They're all adults now and although two still live with us they're on the verge of moving out (I'm counting down the days!). What really pisses me off is as they've got older, they've forged this friendship with their BM and I'm left feeling, hang-on, I did all the hard work! It's like she's been totally forgiven for her short-comings and she's now reaping the rewards of having this grown up children who are now mostly independent. I feel so angy and resentful towards them. I know I sound like a spoilt brat but it was bloody hard parenting them and I want something back.  Everytime they do something for her like take her out for a birthday meal (which they don't do for me or their dad), I want to scream at them that she doesn't deserve it. The loyalty they have for her just astounds me and makes me feel sad. I know it would be stupid to fall out with them so close to them moving out but I just feel like I'm done with them. They're not horrible kids just typically selfish and don't think about anyone's feelings except their own. I think my DH feels stuck in the middle. He can see their behaviour is often selfish but doesn't want to criticise them to me. We often lock horns on their behaviour but I guess he just has that unconditional love for them that helps him to get over it. I wish I could