I swear, I deal with the most ridiculous CRAP. So DH and I spent last evening arguing. BM informed (not asked) me that while having her will made, that she made DH and I the guardians of her three year old child (not my DH's) in the event of her death. I was taken by such surprise that I didn't even respond, I didn't know how to be honest. Her second husband died in September in a car accident (3 year olds dad). Now, BM and I have a completely fine relationship, HOWEVER...I already live with one of her children (SD8) and have NO intentions of living with a second one, as heartless as that may sound. DH is 100% for it and I'm 100% against it.

DH and I have been trying to have our own child for the past 16 months without success. I have PCOS and we are seeing a fertility specialist currently. Now DH has told me on many occasions how we can only have one child together because he never wants more than two kids. I would love to have two of my own, but compromised with one. So why is it that having a third kid would be perfectly fine as long as it's not us having more than one? Oh right, because princess SD would want her sister to live here, so therefore we can suddenly handle 3 kids. DH was also kind enough to inform me that I just don't understand his bond with SD8 bc I don't have any kids. That's a real nice thing to say to your wife who has been unable to get pregnant for the last 16 months...

I can understand the logic of SD and her sister being together if something happened to their mom, however...their grandmother lives two minutes away. There is no reason little sister can't go live with grandparents and still see SD on a regular basis. I think somewhere along the line everyone in this house forgot that this is MY life too. I spend day in and day out worrying about DH's needs and SD's needs and everyone else's needs, but this is a HARD line for me. There is absolutely 100% no way that I am raising another kid that is NOT my own. Over my dead body.

I gave DH the reaming of his life. How dare he make me the "heartless" bad guy in this situation. How dare he. He has absolutely no idea what it is like to live day in and day out trying your hardest to live with a kid that isn't yours. He isn't the warm and fuzzy type towards any kid that isn't SD8 so I can only imagine him as a step-parent. I try my hardest and I do a damn good job given the circumstances. I go day in and day out doing laundry, keeping this house clean, making dinner, packing lunches, getting SD to her sports/playdates/etc. while DH is in meetings or in school and I get NO appreciation for it. It has become an expected norm and I am sick of it. And then to spend the evening arguing with me about why we would absolutely take in little sister, you have got to be freaking kidding me. I love my DH, but I married him without real expectations of what being a step parent is. Now that I know, I would divorce him in a heart beat before I raised another kid that is not my own. Especially considering he shows me no appreciation for everything that I do around here. Sorry end of rant...I think DH was a bit stunned to hear all of that come out of my mouth last night, but you know what it felt pretty good to get off my chest. We can only hope that BM doesn't die anytime soon!