Yes. Before I had kids I was crazy about everyone's kids now I have my own and now I can only stand kids 0-2yrs old and 14+ yrs old. I struggle for much with the ages 3-13yrs old. My husbands younger kids have never been very accepting of me but his older kids were. So naturally I favored mine over all but was easier to relate to the older ones vs younger ones.

Oh yes. Mine is just over a year, I still don't much like other peoples kids. It's totally different.

Other people's kids are horrible. Generally speaking they are annoying, gross, ill mannered and did I mention annoying?

I read that when a woman gets pregnant, her brain is basically re-wired from all the hormones. It's like your body turning the maternal switch on. That hasn't happened for you because this isn't your kid.

I have a dog but I don't necessarily like other people's dogs all up on me. And I'm a dog lover. I keep mine clean and have trained all the irritating behaviors out of her. Can't say the same for a lot of the kids I see these days.

Even kids know when other kids are raised by sucky inept parents. Just because your DH's prior relationship spawn does not engage your parental feelings ...... yet .... does not mean you won't develop them for your SD and your own future children.

I completely get what you are struggling with. When my bride and I began dating SS-22 was this little tow headed cute kid that irritated the snot out of me much of the time. He truly was just about the perfect kid. We could take him anywhere, do anything, he was quiet, sweet, etc...

And yet I had what I can only describe as a mammalian Animal Planet special rejection to the genetic progeny of another male. Kind of like when a male lion takes over a pride and eliminates all of the young progeny of his predecessor. Of course I did not eat him or otherwise harm him but ..... his presence just irritated me. I would be gruff with him and little too loud, a little too stern, and it was not until I recognized that this little loving quiet, engaging little boy was confused by my behaviors that I gained clarity. I loved his mom and if I was going to love her than by God I was going to have to be his Dad. So I made a choice, I started taking the actions of love, I carried him on my shoulders when we went hiking or shopping, etc.., he and I chased Ducks around the golf course outside of the apartment he and his mom lived in while we were dating, we chased ducks around the lake outside of my condo, we would pop popcorn for the ducks at my lake and go feed them (ducks were a theme for us when he was a toddler), his mom and I would swing him between us as we walked, I read stories to him, I changed his diaper (okay, I always detested that part but .......), I took the actions of caring for him and in not to long of a time I loved that kid. I raised his as my own. He is my son. My bride and I were unable to have more kids together (her first pregnancy nearly killed her and her docs have always adamantly vetoed another pregnancy) but had we spawned I cannot comprehend caring more for them than I do for him.

My FIL is my case in point and proof of this. My bride's biodad was killed in a car accident before my MIL knew she was pregnant with my wife. After she repatriated to the US (they were stationed overseas when her first husband was killed) she came home to her parents to reset and have the baby. My FIL's family and MIL's family are old family friends and FIL once dated my MILs younge sister. FIL was by her side through the whole pregnancy and was in the delivery room when my bride was squeezed out.

MIL and FIL married when my bride was 2mos old. She is her daddy's little girl let me tell you. My bride has three younger sibs but she is FILs pride and joy. He of course loves all of his kids (2BILs and SIL) but my bride and FIL have the closest relationship. They are the more like each other than any of the other three.

So take the actions of love, enjoy your SKid and have fun when you and DH spawn.

IMHO of course.