I posted earlier this year basically saying how I was growing tired of the dependence on me to look after my SO's kids. I work from home so naturally I am in a position to do this. Among other things, it's allowed my SO to train to become a nurse. She's worked very hard, but I feel I've facilitated that by being there for every school run, every school holiday period, every evening she couldn't be at home.

One of the reasons the situation was getting stressful was that the kids' father had not been in contact with them for nearly two years. My SO and I lost our weekends together when he lost his apartment for non payment of rent and therefore couldn't have them to stay. For whatever reason, he just stopped seeing them completely when he lost his place. This all happened in our first month of all moving in together. It was an awful blow and really put a strain on our relationship. If I knew he would stop seeing them, I may not have moved in, it was that important to me.

But now, lo and behold, he has moved into a new place with his girlfriend (who seems lovely and is great with the kids) and has made contact. Suddenly this huge weight has been lifted. Over the past few weekends he has made efforts to rebuild his relationship with the kids and is already talking about them coming to stay at weekends again.

All this has made me realise just how dependent on him we both are and how important it is for mums and dads to keep seeing their kids after a break up. Parents and their partners need time to build and enjoy their relationship and this in turn gives the kids a more stable home. Win-win. It's heart breaking to see yourself drifting apart from your SO simply because all the attention and energy, 7 days a week, is directed to the kids. It's all the more difficult and resentful when those kids aren't yours and can never quite make that bond that a biological parent can.

This guy is by no means father of the year, and my moral conscience is telling me to judge him harshly. But just having him in the picture is, at the very least, another pair of helping hands and financial support. I just want kid-free weekends with my SO again. It's time for dad to be a DAD and just let me be my SO's partner.

More strength to all those in a similar situation.