Worried about DH's granddaughter & her environment.
This is complicated & I need some insight.
background: Granddaughter (GD) is 8, lives with her mother (SD), her half-brothers (6 mos & 6) and her step-father (father of the two boys, let's call him Putz). Her mother never married her father. SD31 married the father of first son 2 years ago and now they have another baby. Before SD got back together with Putz, DH "helped" her out by paying rent for her til she got on her feet (2006). In 2008, her & Putz got back together, he moved in, and DH continued to pay rent for them. They got married in 2009 and DH promptly informed them he wasn't paying their rent, it was time they stepped up, as Putz lost his job and had lived there rent-free for over a year. SD & Putz haven't spoken to DH since. Except for when she asked him to give her land & help her build a house, which he refused. We've seen them at Christmas & Thanksgiving and that's it.
Recently Putz asked DH for money, as they have nothing even tho he's been working. After this, we saw GD unbeknownst to her mother and it was very nice. A very sweet and smart girl. She said "mom says we don't have money to get me any books and we always have to borrow money".
I ran into a relative of GD's father, who I've known all my life. She has gotten her for visits about every other weekend for several years. A wonderful woman, active in her church, loves spending time with GD. She was very upset about what is going on, telling me: Putz lost his job, she thinks due to a failed drug test, as has happened in the past; they threatened her with not allowing her or any member of her family to see GD (there is a visitation order allowing it); SD & Putz lying to her repeatedly; they bought a new car & went on an expensive vacation over the summer with money from God-knows-where; SD drills GD for info whenever she visits so she's afraid to talk when she does see her; she thinks GD is afraid of Putz & she (the woman) says Putz is very controlling... won't allow the woman in their home (a mobile home); she says GD loves seeing her father and other relatives and they are good to her & give her things. But SD & Putz won't allow her to see them now.
So this is all very upsetting to DH as we are both worried about the environment she is in. DH's relatives don't really "get involved" and just try to be nice. We do know that SD tells GD that grandpa kicked them out and doesn't care about them, among other things.
Don't really know what to do at this point....
Thanks for listening.
What does GSD's dad have to
What does GSD's dad have to say about all of this? Has he ever done anything legally to establish parental rights/any custody of SD? It might help to consult with him on this. He, as the biological dad, can and should establish parental rights and some sort of court-ordered visitation. If your SD withholds visitation, like she is now, she could face a short stint in jail, fines or both. Please, let him know he has rights to his daughter and offer to do anything you can to help him.
If you have hardcore proof that there is blatant neglect occurring at the hands of SD & Putz, place an anonymous phone call to cps. Give them your proof.
Are the boys SD's children too? Please, by all means continue to pay attention to this situation. You and your DH may be the only hope those kids have.
The father does have
The father does have visitation rights, court-ordered, as told to me by his grandmother.
I/we have no proof of neglect or drugs. The boys are SD's also, the father is Putz. He rubs all of us the wrong way with his attitude, to say the least.
We've been allowed very little contact with the grandkids, since we refuse to give into SD's every want. If she's keeping the children from people that do care and love them, it is for control, to brainwash them into believing what mommy tells them, that we don't care about them. (that's what HER mother did to her as well).
Thanks Anon for your input, I appreciate it! We are trying to stand up for the kids, we are very concerned for them.