What would you do???
There was a comment made (by stepaside) about whether to tell spouse adult children are welcome in your home--you can read my comments on other post to know my situation. I will say this that I've talked with a Boystown counselor a few times and he says he has a similar situation and HE has told HIS kid he's not welcome in HIS home!! And he's a biodad, not a stepparent!! He's said if he were me he would have done the same thing a long time ago. The only thing this kid has done good recently is gave dad gas money on his birthday, and I do have to wonder whether his motives were pure or he's got some agenda in mind. He supposedly doesn't want to come over b/c of ME...I think he's just playing head games with dad personally...it's not like they dont get to see each other outside the house. All I can hope is that he's denied for SSI so that eventually he's forced to work and hopefully that'll use up some of his free time.
I generally think it's more
I generally think it's more productive for the adult skid's bioparent to tell them to pound salt and exactly why. That way you and DH are a unified front. If my kids were disrespectful to DH, they wouldn't be welcome in our home either.
Not sure what you mean by
Not sure what you mean by pounding salt--and I can understand why it may be ideal for the bioparent to say stuff to skid and no one has actually told him he's not welcome in the home. What DH HAS told skid is "no u cant come spend the night here with your girlfriend" (used me as excuse)and told him "no you cant come here and just give me $5 for gas"...he has given everyone so much hell growing up that at this point I'm just tired of him. DH gets sick of it when skid pulls his BS and has ignored his calls and hung up on him so I'm wondering if that's why skid gave dad gas $$ on bday...is he trying to butter dad up? Cuz he's technically homeless and he's asked to live here before. Dad wants to set limits with him to a point I think but he doesn't want to take all the blame for saying "no". He doesn't like confrontation (in this or other situations) and I dont either but I dont base my boundaries on whether or not someone is gonna have a temper tantrum. If I truly feel I'm being fair, that person's anger is THEIR problem not mine.