Vent - adult stepson | StepTalk.org

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Hello all,

I will be leaving my current situation on 5/29/22. I have everything set up. I'm nervous but excited too. YOu can read previous posts to catch up on the horrid sh&tshow that has been my life.

I'm on here tonight to vent. I have disengaged from my stepson. My husband continues to be intermittently emotionally and sometimes physically abusive.

A few days ago, he took a picture of me as I had tried on new scrub pants and he told me they looked bad. So he took a picture of me to show me (I didn't ask him to, he just did). The picture is embarrassing, my face is all scrunched up, etc. I know it seems juvenile but what happened was he thought the picture was funny and he was looking at it and laughing. I am mortified and told him it's not funny it's hideous, etc, please delete it. He doesn't. He goes on to mock me and then threatens to show the picture to his son (who was gone at his mom's at the time). My husband was laughing at the picture and telling me that I'm too sensitive. Then he gets mad and tells me, "It's just a joke. You should be able to laugh at yourself." Well, it's not funny when you're being made fun of. He knows I don't like the picture but continues to mock me.

So last night his son was there and he shows him the picture even though I told my husband, again, calmly, that the picture embarrasses me and to please not do that. I asked nicely. I asked calmly. He did it anyway. Then he tells me later that he uploaded the picture to my digital picture frame. I was so upset but didn't respond. He and his son were laughing at me - I could hear it from the other room. I wanted to disappear. I was so upset.

Today at work, my husband texts me about something and then randomly attaches the picture to the text - the text had nothing to do with the picture anyway and it upset me. It's like he was just again being cruel and trying to upset me. I don't know how many times I told him I don't like the picture, it's not funny. I was so upset I started crying. I never responded to his text. I"m still at work. But the nurses had to hold my patients so I could settle down - no one atually saw me crying or knew what was up, but I couldn't focus for a few minutes.

It seems silly that I'm upset over this. But it feels like my husband is just being cruel. It's mean-spirited. I hate him so much. I can't wait to leave. I'm trying to stay calm and not start anything but I didn't respond to his text earlier, so I don't know what will happen when I get home. He's going to know I didn't respond on purpose because I'm very good about responding to texts from anyone. He'll probably be mad. Well, I have the sheriff's number anyway.....

His behavior isn't normal. It's cruel. No one does that to someone they love.

I hope I can make it three more days.

Thanks for listening....

Put the photo on FB but block

Put the photo on FB but block everyone from seeing it apart from him and his spawn. Don't forget a silly comment about how funny it is. He'll think you've accepted it and it will take the wind out of his sails. He will drop it.

What is Wrong with this guy?!

He doesn't "seem" to be cruel, he is cruel. And it is really not funny. He needs to grow the f up.

I'm sorry you have to endure this kind of crap, I think the way to end his stupid comments however is to show how much you enjoyed that picture (you don't actually have to like it). He was trying to get the irratated response from you, once he cannot get that, he will probably stop.

This man is so stupid. Glad you will be leaving soon.

He's just sick and a horrible

He's just sick and a horrible person. I don't say things like that normally, I'm pretty easy going. But really, he doesn't have any redeeming qualities and I feel so sorry for the next woman who falls into his trap.

I'm also glad I'm getting out. Should have done it years ago.

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!!

Yes. He is very sick. And the older he gets, the harder life is going to be for him. Eventually his son will jettison him, because it's hard to find a sugar mama when your daddy trails after you.

But you? You're going to SOAR. Be gentle with yourself right now. Get out, get into your new life, get therapy, and BE HAPPY AGAIN.

Please let us know how your escape goes. We're all rooting for you, reedle.

I second that! I'd forgotten

I second that! I'd forgotten that today was the big day! I'm dying to read your update, reedle, and I am not alone in that!

Today's your Independence Day

Today's your Independence Day! Thinking of you.

What A Jerk

Your DH is an asshole and he IS cruel. I can't wait til you are away from him and his mooching son. I'm assuming he is still in the dark about you leaving. Please make sure to have police there when you leave. Make sure you get everything while cops are there. And hopefully, the only time you ever need to see this massive POS is in court to finalize the divorce. Hugs.

Yes, he is still in the dark

Yes, he is still in the dark about the move. He will be blind-sided when I do it - he has no clue. His son has no clue. I can't wait to get away form these two. They've done nothing but drag me down financially and emotionally. Yes, I'll make sure I get all my belongings because once I leave, there will be no going back, no further contact with this jerk. I have everything in boxes I separated from their stuff slowly over the past month (and some other stuff in a storage unit). The boxes downstairs are organized in a neat, tidy way so it'll just be a matter of picking them up , walking them out the basement door and into the moving truck. My friend will help me clear out my bedroom (clothes, TV, etc) while the movers move the boxes - if they finish first they'll help me with the bedroom stuff. The movers are aware of the situation and that they will need to work fast.

My attorney said that will be the only time I'll have to see my husband is in court.

Thank you so much for your support.... it means a lot.....

You are rocking this.

Great work.

Take care of you.

Careful

Please be careful. Let us know how you made it.

Please be careful. You only

Please be careful. You only have 3 days to go.

And PLEASE update us ASAP when you have safely left.

Wait up ...I just reread your post and you have written that your POS husband has been physically abusive?? Did you call the police on him?

I will certainly update

I will certainly update everyone when I leave. Yes, in the past several months he has slapped my knee really hard becuase he was bullying me, I shut down and wouldn't talk, so he slapped my leg. Then another time he was bullying me and I shut down, texting my family on my phone, and he slapped my phone out of my hands. I was also shoved a while back.

I didn't call the cops because at that time, I didn't want to create more drama as I was in the process of leaving. When it first started happening, I didn't believe it would be considered abuse as I had no marks on me and no way to prove it. And I also knew if I called the cops, my husband and his manchild would lie about me to the police and I worried I would get arrested, which would ruin my career.

I have 2 days....if he lays a finger on me during that time, trust me, I'll call. Right now I'm just trying to weather his cruel behavior and make it til I move. The sheriff is on stand-by. I have been in contact with him several times.

Joke Is On Him

What a POS. Remind yourself how he's going to feel in a few days.

Stay safe.

The final days

The final days of living with a man you are going to divorce is the thoughest part of the process. I thought I was going mad the last few days before DH left. BUT ----- Hang on, it will be worth it.

You are on edge, he knows it and can't resist the sadistic urge to get your goat. He knows there is nothing left in you for him, believe me. He must have suspicions something is 'in the air'. I agree with the others who say to pretend that you see it as a joke. Focus on the final day and how wonderful you are going to feel afterwards. Keep telling yourself he will be laughing the other side of his a$$ in three days. Hang on, it's worth it.

One thing I would recommend is asking a close friend to check in with you every few hours as a support source and for your own safety. I did and I think it was easier because exDH knew people were watching out for me.

Agreed, these last few days

Agreed, these last few days have been hell. I only have 2 days left but these are the longest days.

Yeah, I think he knows something is coming because I've just shut down even more. I'm not breaking though, I won't give in and tell him because that would make these last 2 days even worse, if that's possible.

I have a friend who I spilled the beans to - she is mortified and can't believe what I've been living with. I have her address in case I need to make a quick escape and she is also planning to help me move.

I'm going to make it - you all are so supportive and it is appreciated. And I will just act like the picture is a joke and not respond - it seems he is gleeful when he knows he has upset me. Sick.

You mentioned, a little too

You mentioned, a little too casually, physical abuse. Are you sure you're safe for three more days?

I can't wait until you're out of there and report that you are away and that POS is blocked from your life.

Yes, I'll be okay. I have a

Yes, I'll be okay. I have a friend I can go stay with and she'll be helping me move too. And I will call the cops if he touches me. I'll make it, I have 2 more days. I also can't wait to get the hell away from this situation.

Kick him in the balls...take

Kick him in the balls...take a picture...tell him you find it funny and post it everywhere with captions, then tell him it's just a joke and you were being funny just like him. Seriously when you leave this douche tard warn any future women this piece of shit.

My heart goes out to you.

My heart goes out to you. He is tormenting you and causing you great anxiety. We understand and we despise him for that. However, rise above your pain, just this one last time and don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he holds that power over you. Take the above advice and next time he flashes the photo, just say, "It's getting old, Irving Penn. I'm over it"... but really mean it! Don't let him take up anymore space in your head.

Have a trusted friend on stand-by in case things go sideways and good luck with your exit plan. Keep us posted.

Thank you, that means a lot.

Thank you, that means a lot. I feel embarrassed and can't tell many people (only one knows) about this situation because I now realize I should have left a long time ago. It is hell and I do feel like I'm being tormented.

I will try to laugh off the photo so he will stop - then he'll be left to find something else to torment me with.

Two more days....I'll keep you all posted.

Is there any excuse you can

Is there any excuse you can make to stay elsewhere for the last few days? Do keep us informed as others have said. We are truly concerned and are also rooting for you! Get out!

I thought about telling him I

I thought about telling him I'm going to visit my family this weekend, but he'll want to go along as he typically won't even let me go to the store alone. Again, this was done as "I worry and care about you" for years and it wasn't until recently I figured out that he is controlling and has issues. I might have my sister or someone come stay with me as a guest....

Yes, I will definitely be getting OUT. I'm so done.

Any man who loves, respect and cares for his wife

Simply wouldn't intentionally upset and taunt her. So you know deep in your heart why you are leaving this jerk

Yes, a person who loves you

Yes, a person who loves you won't taunt you and upset you. He is a rotten person. And his son will turn out the same I'm sure.

Stay safe

Glad you are leaving this cruel pos. It won't be long now, hang in there.

I am a survivor of domestic

I am a survivor of domestic abuse. Please be extremely careful and have your cell phone with you at all times.

Does anyone know your schedule for escape? As in, if you're not at a certain place by a certain time or haven't called them by a certain time to contact the police?

Yes, my friend is aware of

Yes, my friend is aware of everything and where I'm moving and what time I'll be there. I'll keep in touch with her. I am moving 5 hours away, so once I'm gone, my husband will not easily find me. Plus, he has no money and a piece of crap car (that I bought for him per his request) that would never make the journey. My family knows I'm moving alone - they didn't ask for details and I didn't give any - they know not to tell my husband. I'll tell them what all went on later. But my family knows where I'm moving and when I'll be there. My sister is planning to meet me there and stay with me.

The sheriff is aware of the situation and my move date - I have his number in my phone and he will be there to stand by if needed. God, I'm so nervous and scared but happy to be moving and to be getting away from this torment.

Please ensure that your

Please ensure that your lawyer is aware that s/he must not, under any circumstances, give away your address. Same goes for your landlord (just in case you had to give him a forwarding address - give him your parents' one if you have to).

Yes, this has been covered.

Yes, this has been covered. I told my attorney. For the utilities, they are using my po box. My friend will check it a few weeks after I leave and send my mail to me. But all my creditors, etc, have been told not to disclose any of my information and I've been assured that they won't. Husband and manchild have never been on any of the utilities or anything, so they can't get any info anyway. Landlord is well aware of the situation and will not disclose any information.

I'm pretty sure I covered everything. I've been keeping a relatively clear head up until the photo harassment started.

((hugs)) sending you love and light and hope and all the positive things I can possibly think of and feel.

Please let us know at your best time, how things are progressing for you!