She's a horrible person to even pick on a child with a colostomy.

I think you need to start taping your phone calls with her and play them for your DH. Or, better yet, answer them and tell her you're alone, and let him hear how she speaks to you.

This cannot go on. He needs to know that his daughter can either straighten up and GET OVER IT... or stay out of your life.

And then, after you have the proof for DH. Change your cell number.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I sincerely hope that karma will get her some day.

This is insane and I KNOW it's driving you crazy. I had recent incident with BM that she was harassing me..etc..and when confronted FH believed her because she said "no I didn't". Your DH should beleive you! or at least give you enough benefit of the doubt that he does something to investiage more. You mentioned phone calls at 2am? This is to your cel...have your husband answer these calls..if they are NOT her..how does HER name and HEr number show up?

It sounds like he just does not WANT to believe

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

Start ignoring her.

You cannot control her so quit trying. Quit trying to get Daddy to control her - she's half a world away he can't do it even if he wanted to - and he doesn't.

Once you accept the fact that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO defend yourself you can get on with your life. Lets be realistic: who reads those emails - who reads those "public" web pronouncements? Anybody you know? Anybody who is important in your life? Did your boss ask you why you're doing these things to this poor girl? Did your Mum tell you you're a bad girl for treating this poor thing this way? Do the neighbors point at you? Does anybody in your life believe her?

Other than Daddy of course and everybody knows he's biased so everybody will let him carry on without taking it seriously.

It takes two to play the game you're playing and like any other game it as soon as one of the players leaves the game is over.

Once she realizes she's not having an effect on your then you will stop being the target. As for your husband let him deal with it in his own way and in his own time. You have no responsibility to save him from his kid. He knows the truth. Repeat that. He knows the truth. When he's had enough he'll put an end to it. Meanwhile don't answer the phone calls, pull the plug on it if necessary and don't respond to the web postings of any sort.

You have the power to end this right now by simply disengaging.

*********************

There's an exception to everything I say.

Good luck and I'm so glad that you are feeling that way. I agree with Orange County. Maybe I was wrong to say, answer the phone and hand it to your DH. Maybe he's right... Ignore her and she'll fade away. Whatever works for you... just stay strong! Hugs

Just a thought from my evil little mind but....if she is not sending you these nasty emails, and when you send back a nasty reply to one of her "it wasn't from me " emails, and she shows it to dear old Dad and complains about you being mean.....how the hell did she get the reply if it wasn't from her in the first place? Most of these nasty skids just don't have the brains to figure out the consequences of being stupid. She thinks she's being clever but they never realize how the shoe fits on the other foot too. Even if she never shows it to DH at least you'll be able to give her a piece of your mind and you might feel a bit better. SD is an adult now and there's no way I would let her or anyone else treat me this way if I were you. I've already had that fight with my SD 20 and now we ignore each other...works for me!! =o)

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

My SD18 was nasty to me-but not to these extremes! She made me miserable. I grew to hate just the sound of her name. Because her actions around H were obviously sick jealousy that "daddy" got married.

How do I feel about her? Well, I feel exactly about her as she does about me.

BUT who do I hold responsible for what has happened here? H. He allowed it. He encouraged it, with his "she's my everything" behaviour. Whenever he was called on her bad behaviour here, he turned it on me. Whatever she wanted, it was never too much. When she was in your face rude to me, and I told him, I'd hear "I didn't see it, I wasn't there" as tho I was lying. And when he was there and saw it, he made excuses for it. I spent the last months of this marriage being nothing but a housekeeper/second income/occasional sex partner for H, while any trips, any extraordinary expenses were for her.

Girl, that is not what a husband is. A husband is a life partner, not an enemy. A husband is not someone who has your computer investigated because you received vile e-mails from his spawn. A husband is not someone who defends the person who would wound his wife.

Like you, we went away and got married at the beach. It was just us & the minister. But all kids knew about it way before we got married. Like you, I was married a year ago, April 30. And this has been one of the most miserable years of my life, due, in large part, to H & SD18 against Bewitched behaviours.

This is no way to live. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that in 6 months time, you'll see me on here, posting about having a life back again. My life. Not one ruled by games between H & SD18.

No, you cannot control your SD. No, you cannot control your husbands responses, or lack of responses, to her attacks on you. But you CAN control what you will accept in your life.