Oh bless you. Sadly, Hubbie has Parkinsons and upsets make him ill, I have T2 diabetes stress sends sugar levels into orbit, edpecially as I felt too ill and sad to eat. Been in fb mssage with my daughter in law, who with my sonlived abroad and she pretty muvh said what you guys say. You seevi am such a bad person that my daughter in law loves me to visit and says wish I could stay longer. I have two daughter in laws and son in law and get on well with all. Problem is DH is known as an arrogantly egostical person. But no one says anything, out with the lads on a boozy weekend when his second chiod dur, SD so worried we went to spent time with her. She is a real drama queen and freaks out at drop of hat, always got to be centre of attention (middle child syndrome). I ask hrr children to remove shoes indoors, we all do it and my own toddler grandchildren do. I ask them not to put hsbds on tv screen and little things like that, which my own bio grandchildren know, they are rsised to respect othrr people snd property. Her children may run amoke in their own home, so guess I must not say anything and let destroy our home which as retirees we will not replace be easily. Apparently she's been telling DH that I upset her and make her children cry. Absolutely untrue, we have never rowed before, maybe a few words here and there but she had never got upset and I certainly never made her children cry. So I think she is attention seeking with DH, who incidentally she always moaning about. Quite incidentally, but mean anyway, she and my daugher often exchange children's clothes and toys. Her son is older than my bio grandson and her daughter is a bit younger than my granddaughter. DH promised my bio son a set of toys he loved and her son had out grown, butshe later said DH wanted to sell on ebay. Last time my grandson visited them he asked if he could play with said toys, she got all flustered and said they were put away and she couldn't get them. I guess I'm rambling on and had better stop now, so many little niggles, just as mysrlf and my daughter think, ok SD not that bad she ups and does something or makes comments to change it back. Yesterday, as I said took the biscuit, I had been discussing tv doc and, DH made a comment on it, I turned an said 'No, the problem they say is ....' not in denial of what she said, but simply saying what the outcome of programmes was, which incidentally she had not seen. She jumped out her chair, I thought she'd gone to see to her children, or her phone which is constantly using even when you are talking to her. But she had run off to tell DH and anyone else who would listen that I had shouted at her and she was crying. DH had not even heard what happened, big strapping thirty five year old man, saying don't dhout and my wife sbd childrrn I always get stories of you upsetting her! He pointed at my backdoor and told me to 'get the f**k out' inwas flabberghasted I said 'This is my house- you get the f**k out' and nobody said anything to him! I am told, thst SD told him he should not swaer at me and he deeply regrets it, but he had not told me that or aoplogised, he never will. This man knows nothing about me, sees me a few hours a year at family occasions. He knows I have diabetes and most people thinks it is just a matter of not eating sugar, he knoes hubbie is ill - how dare he come in and talk like that, in front of all the little ones. My grandchildren not used to that kind of thing. It's so terrible, I just can't seem to get over it, I never want to see him again, so heaven knows where that goes for future occasions, the inference was that 'I' wicked step mother ruined their daughter's party! I know I did nothing wrong.

Latest - final ditch attempt. The SD who caused scene told me she read a up on her dad's illness, said we, as a family should arrange to go to PK family group support and we should look into any help he may get. She then referred it on to her sister who asked her dad how he was managing - he said ok. So she messaged me to say that and that she personally could not see any deterioration in his mobility. This is the ssme daughter who told my daughter that she and her sister had been worrying about his driving and offered to assist him with scooping potatoes onto his plate at his birthday bbq, whichhi had arranged for him and them to celebrate together. She said she couldn't see that as a family had issues and could even when explained that it was family to help her dad, she stuck to her guns, even said she did not know how she could to meetings - her husband home every evening her children are 7 and 7 not babies and she has her own car, she got quite snippyand said something along the lines of not knowing what I want her to do. Meetings not even my idea but I am guessing her sister implied it was. Hubby in mean time had a turn on Sunday when out to lunch with his bro and wife. Started shaking and looked really ill - his bro took outside and it seemed to pass. I aaked him how he was later and several times yesterday. He always says ok. Just decided yesterday, I cannot keep stressing over it if none of them are. Kerpong dystance with SDs. I have spent years trying to get on, gradually they have eroded that to point where this jss chsmged my opinion from like to dislike so as my old mum used to say 'never the twain shall meet' as I have to accept we might as well from different planets in our family interactions. Mever going to work after 18 years!

Latest - final ditch attempt. The SD who caused scene told me she read up on her dad's illness, said we, as a family should arrange to go to PK family group support and we should look into any help he may get. She then referred it on to her sister who asked her dad how he was managing - he said ok. So she messaged me to say that and that she personally could not see any deterioration in his mobility. This is the same daughter who told my daughter that she and her sister had been worrying about his driving and offered to assist him with scooping potatoes onto his plate at his birthday bbq, which i had arranged for him and them to celebrate together. (Also a not to be repeated act, the two of them made such an issue about agreekng date and yomes that i bent over backwards to get right. You would think I'd try do it to make their life difficult instead of for them to celebrate with their dad.) She's said she couldn't see that as a family had issues and could even when explained that it was family to help her dad, she stuck to her guns, even said she did not know how she dud not see how she could get to meetings - her husband home every evening her children are 7 and 6 not babies and she has her own car, she got quite snippyand said something along the lines of not knowing what I want her to do. Meetings not even my idea but I am guessing her sister implied it was. Hubby in mean time had a turn on Sunday when out to lunch with his bro and wife. Started shaking and looked really ill - his bro took outside and it seemed to pass. I aaked him how he was later and several times yesterday. He always says ok. Just decided yesterday, I cannot keep stressing over it if none of them are. Kerpong dystance with SDs. I have spent years trying to get on, gradually they have eroded that to point where this jss chsmged my opinion from like to dislike so as my old mum kused to say 'never the twain shall meet' as I have to accept we might as well from different planets in our family interactions. Mever going to work after 18 years!

All very good and much appreciated advice. This morning I learned they both visited yesterday, whilst I bsbysat my two yesr old granddaughter at my daughter's home just 3 doors away and they all went out to lunch tskkng jis 2 year old granddaughter, who my grandchildren consider as cousin. The big problem I fear is hubbie, as he backs them to the hilt. Now, I have just told him I will accompany my daughter to Drs tomorrow to sit with children so she can see her Dr. He asked me why I needed to go with her and why I had not told him, I ssid just texted me and said, only if it was. As hubbie and I have nothing arranged. He said I should have consulted him first. Strsnge thing is I usually do, as he has always been fummy about me seeing her, I feel totally overpowered by this family since the event just two weeks ago. Life is getting prettytough with hisbihis illness as it is, I told him thus morning I am very upset about his daughters as I now know how they feel about me, now he is starting to pile on the pressure. I have
Just told him I am reaching end of my tether. He knows inam booked kny for stress councelling. I have Type 2 diabetes this has probably sent sugar levels soaring. I cannot argue any more get stress headache. I have been fighting s cold for 2 weeks and spent 3 weeks in Csnada in Msy when my son who has bipolar disease had a crisis and I have told hubbie how I had to call police in the night as my son was at the local falls and his wife who was home with me was hysterical. My first marriage wss extremely volatile ex hubbe hsd major mood swings, but beginning to feel this is wbrse. Also my hudbsnd rrfuses to make plans gor future or will. The fight is going oit of me just makes me feel ill. I seriously think I have to consider leaving. Keep thinkkng it will be ok, don't want to go through another marriage bresk up, but ....