Stepdaughter jealous of me and my kids?
Christmas
I am in a bit of a bind here. In 2008 I spent Christmas with my husband's kids and family since we alternate years. Well me and his oldest daughter were on friendly terms and I thought things were improving. It was time to take pictures when his daughter saw my husband and I take pictures with our two kids first. I had asked his mom if she could take a picture of us right quick so I could mail it to my dad who was in jail and had not seen his grandkids in a year so I thought nothing of it. Well she saw it and stormed out the house when it came time for us to take a family photo. I of course cried and walked out the house and sat in the car the rest of the time we were there. I do not hate or her or anything. I need to know the next time I see her what should I do. Should I try to be friends again? I really don't because she thinks in her heart that the order the picture taken was wrong and it should have been my husband and the three of them first while me and my daughters wait on the side. She labels it "us" and "them". I do not like to be labeled as that and I feel the next time I see her I will only say hi and go about my way. There is no way I should be obligated into trying to reestablish a friendly term thing. I know my husband would like that because I feel the favoritism he shows toward her. He wants the best of both worlds it seems that his favorite daughter from my view and wife get along. She made me cry and I cannot ease the uneasiness I now feel toward her. Any ideas? Thoughts? Oh another thing is she is now 20, married, and in the Air Force. I think she joined just to make her dad proud and the benefits so her husband can get them. I think they are too young and that the marriage is not going to last very long. Is the maturity level of a 20 year old and 27 year old the same? It is our turn to spend Christmas with his family this year and I am slowly dreading it....the 16 year old has grown into a teenager that is mad at the world and I feel some of the anger is toward me too. I did not break their marriage up! I did not even know at the time and when I found out it was too late because I had already fell in love with him.
20 and 27
I don't see a problem with the ages as a generalization. Apparently nobody asked your opinion anyway so I'd not worry about it.
I think you should act like an adult during the Christmas holiday. You smile and be polite to everyone. If anyone fails to respond you politely ignore them which is to say you respond if they speak to you and remain silent if they don't. If they're sassy or make barbed remarks you just smile knowingly and ignore the remark. By doing so you set yourself above the fray and communicate that their words are not even worth responding to. Stay polite or you lose the edge.
When you do all of this you remove all power they have over you. Think about it. You lived just fine without these people for decades and you can continue to do so with just a slight adjustment of your attitude.
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There's an exception to everything I say.