Stepchild hell
This topic may have been brought up before, if so m apologies, I can't find it. I am just going to unload everything here, please note that these are ugly raw feeling and thoughts and any hateful judgments will not help.
I don't like my step daughter at all, in fact many times I feel hatred for her. From day 1 she has been a thorn in my side. She was 12 when my husband and I first met and 14 when we married so I chalked much of it up to hormones.. little did I know that she was a reality denying self absorbed manipulative attentive whore , whose need for constant attention, in any form mind you, can NEVER be filled. Her need to suck in everyones focused attention is relentless. She is now 23 and little has changed. She moved out recently and the reason why makes it so much worse, yet I am SOOOO very glad that she is gone, too bad she is next door mooching off of m mother in law. She has rallied to turn the entire family against me with half truth, which makes her more "dangerous" (for lack of a better word) She is evil in my opinion. Her mom left her and her dad when she was 2, I felt this had much to do with her attitude, but M GOD will it ever Effin get better. Her mom probably has fed her head full of bs over the ears. She has some effed up loyaltylt to this queen bitch who has never paid a dime to help out in ANY way.. I threw her a sweet 16 party and asked her to gather her friends names, NO ONE. They all went to her moms that evening instead. I told my husband that if I knew then what I know now I would NOT have married him, at least not until her sorry ass had moved out. I know I sound horrible, I feel bad saying these things but I have to get this out, I am not proud and don't know what to do. I have thought she ma be a sociopath or narcissist. I will wrap it up here, I am only venting and could go on and on and on, so much I could bring up. I feel I have been purchased to a place where I just dont care anymore, I used to at least feel guilt about not liking her, but now I feel good when I admit it....maybe I am the evil one. My apologies if this offends anyones, please don't judge but rather count yourself blessed for not having experienced this type of person in your life.
Why would you and Dh live
Why would you and Dh live next to MIL? SD is out now, time to look for a new house and move on.
Distance yourself and see all of them on a limited basis.
Thank you!< MIL is fine, we
Thank you!< MIL is fine, we get along great SD and step MIL not so much
You're not evil. Kids almost
You're not evil. Kids almost always align with the biological parents. Be glad she is out of your house. Now, you can minimize her presence in your life. Several people will tell you to disengage and hopefully someone will share the link with you.
Thanks so much!
Thanks so much!
No I DID NOT, like I said I
No I DID NOT, like I said I chalked it up to hormones.. not everyone can pack up and move.But thank you for your input.
Thank you for your advice.
Thank you for your advice. Unfortunately we are not at a place in our lives where we can just up an move, and I'll be damned if I uproot my life for that entitled brat, SHE can move!! Or like I said go mooch off someone else, I am surprised she hasn't found a sugar daddy top keep her slutty self up. Probably because they too couldn't handle her extremely low level of maturity.. she loves to talk about Christina Agullera..Jeenifer Aniston and herself.. BUT EVERYONE needs to be silent, so we won't miss a shallow word. If I sound angry it is because I AM!! Since this is a forum that was obviously created for this ver topic I don't expect to be called angr or bitter or any other negative names based on these frustrations, to those who can't empathize PLEASE DON"T REPLY!! This isn't directed at you Jasper, but to the last person who started barking out what I SHOULD be doing, gotta love those who have so man answers the can't allow space for someone to unload, seeing thats what this forum is for, or at least I thought. Again Moving is NOT an option at this time.
Changing the locks is a great
Changing the locks is a great idea!! Thank you so much
My guess is that she is an
My guess is that she is an only child. If she is, I can really relate as my SD is an only child and was raised to believe she was smarter and sharper than any other person on the planet. Your SD talks garbage about you to others so she can recruit an army to support her hatred. She has transferred all of her anger toward her mother for leaving to you. You didn't mention what your DH is doing to show that your marriage is his top priority. If he is anything like my DH, he never demonstrated this to SD.
You are not evil for not liking her. If you met another person that treated you like she does would you feel guilty for not liking them? One of the best things I did was to quit the phony stuff of showing that I liked her. When DH was on the phone with her, he looked up at me and uttered, "She says she likes you." I replied so SD could hear it on the phone, "That is B.S. She doesn't like me and I don't like her."
I went to a therapist who helped me to the gain self confidence and self worth that had been put on the burner for the sake of the narcissistic princess' happiness. She suggested making a 'plus and minus' list. When you see this in writing it will justify disengaging from SD, and placing your needs first and foremost
Let her go. Do not allow her into your home until DH informs her that she is to respect you as his wife. Let DH take care of gifts, calls, etc. out of his wallet, not yours. Do not discuss SD with him. If he mentions something about SD just reply, "Hmmm" and walk off. Believe that he has to put as much love and energy toward your happiness as you do to his.
The main thing you need to do is take care of yourself. You sound like a wonderful person. Don't allow anyone to make you feel otherwise.
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your input, sound compassionate advice. I appreciate it more than you know
For the first 5 years of our
For the first 5 years of our marriage we lived about 1200 miles from my ILs and 6000 from my parents. That gave us time to form the bonds of our own family. At year 5 my parents built a home a couple of miles from us about halfway between our home and my brother's home. That worked great. It was easy to get together when we wanted to and easy to have some space and distance when we didn't.
Now we live thousands of miles from both my family and my ILs.
Time to move. Give yourself and your marriage time to heal and for you and DH to learn how to be together without a kid in the home.
We have enjoyed our empty nester progression. SS-23 moved out nearly 5 years ago and though at first it was an adjustment his mom and I enjoy our time together. It is nice for it to be about us rather than a kid.
Move... and enjoy.
Again, moving is not an
Again, moving is not an option for everyone. Thank you for your input
My MIL doesn't meddle, or
My MIL doesn't meddle, or drop in unexpected, she's no Everybody Loves Raymond character. She is getting old so we will continue to be here for her, SD is too self absorbed to spend time at home with her. She doesn't lift a finger to clean or help in any way for MIL either
That's just so
That's just so unbelievable....who the EFF at 23 is obsessed with Christina Aguilera? Christ, I would hate her too!!!
You have every reason to hate someone who creates a negative disturbance in your life. You have the right to protect yourself from those who have no kind regard for you. I hate both of my Skids. Your not alone! Take all the advise you receive from this site. I have learned most of the people on here are going through or have already gone through this same thing. They have learned that the only way to truly get these horrible people out of your life is to distance yourself from them and make no apologies for wanting your own happy life with your husband.
Thank you for your input and
Thank you for your input and for understanding.