Ss celebrating elsewhere & not with his dd71
My dh divorced me in May over his ds48. His ds a single child always wanted his dd's attention, daily, calling many times during the day, everyday. A jealous, selfish man who does not have any other relationships except with his mom and dad. Ex, a guilty dad, who always told me he had to protect his ds against me. The big hero complex against using me as the scapegoat.
The worst happen, I finally let dh know that we are entitled to have quality time without his ds always intervening. His ds should stop being rude to me. My dh should put boundaries against rudeness. The white knight in came out and came to his ds rescue by divorcing me after being together 25 years. I am still in pain.
So today I find out ex son is not celebrating fathers day with his dd. He is going to his mom's to celebrate fathers day as they are having a party. He also dislikes his sf. Every year, while I was married, ss would insist on spending father's day with his dd and I would plan something only to have ss shun me and everyone else even to the point of turning his chair sideways to face only his df at dinner. Today, he is ignoring his df and going to moms. Very strange, and very sad for my ex. I guess he wants to ignore everyone at the party to show his power of his mom.
Very sad situation. I feel sorry for ex.
This is a situation of his
This is a situation of his own making. He left his wife of 25 years and now he is alone. Don't feel sorry - he is getting his just deserts
I know you obv still love ex deeply which is why you feel sorry but please don't make contact with him nor engage should he make contact with you - he has shown you who he is so you need to believe him
Please focus on mending yourself and moving forward after this difficult time - you deserve so much more than you got
Today isn't Father's Day.
Today isn't Father's Day. :? :?
Maybe he's spending this Sunday with his mom and SF. Then next Sunday will spend Father's Day with his dad.
Why are you still in so much
Why are you still in so much communication with your ex? If you intend to move on and begin to heal, you need to start letting go.
At one point you were leaving the state, had our things and car shipped and flew away. Except perhaps for the court appearance for the divorce (which would have been a quick round trip plane trip), there was no reason to come back. Yet back you are all up in your ex's business.
This isn't healthy for you.
Stop all contact.you need to
Stop all contact.you need to recover from this emotional abuse.
If I heard the news that my
If I heard the news that my ex's son was not going to spend Father's Day with him it would make me smile under the circumstances. He got what he deserves and hope there is more of that coming his way.
However the others are right, you need to cut all ties and communication with him and focus on making a new life for yourself.
Enuf I am sorry this family
Enuf I am sorry this family caused you so much pain. They are damaged and when they couldn't damage you they had to cut you out of the picture. I know it hurts to be betrayed that way but you will be thankful one day. The abuse would only get worse.
Nothing will change with this crew and it just shows how right you are about these people. Feel validated but do try to step away from them. The farther you are away from this situation the more you will heal. You will only then start to see how much better your life will be without all of that drama.
Celebrate you do everything you couldn't do when you were with him and form a new circle of friends. Good luck.
Thank you for the feedback. I
Thank you for the feedback. I realized later today that father's day is next week. His ds made a mistake of thinking it was today and wished his df a happy one when he talked to him yesterday. So ex and I assumed it was today.
Yes, I do need to step back. I came back for the divorce and had stayed in the house to pack my things, unfortunately about 2 weeks ago ex told me he had suffered a stroke and is now blind in one eye. So I decided to stay a little longer to see what else is going on medically. He has a couple more Dr's appointments. He was looking pretty rough and depressed.
My ex felt so high and mighty about divorcing me and he was cruel. Then he ends up with a stroke and one eye blind. He said that it is the worst month in his entire life. So when I heard that his ds decided to spend the day that he thought was father's day with his mom. That is when I thought Ex divorced me because of ss and this is what he gets. A ds who would rather spend father's day with his mom. Everything seems out of whack. As his ds would insist and get upset with DH if he did not celebrate birthdays and holidays with him when his df and I we were married.
It is a complete turn around from the previous 25 years of behavior. His ds is putting his dh second by wanting to spend the day with mom. I am having trouble following the dynamics in all this. Just curious more than anything why the big turn around.
Talk about karmic justice in terms of what ex is experiencing. I could not believe how quickly it Karma came into play.
Are you 100% sure he had a
Are you 100% sure he had a stroke? These narcissistic abusers will stop at nothing to suck you back in to their warped world!
I never considered that he
I never considered that he may be lying to me. Please, this is an important question: If he divorced me why would he try to suck me in again?
There could be several
There could be several reasons but just know that they are all selfish and you getting sucked in again would only benefit him.
Stop all communication with him. Whatever happens to him or between him and his son, is his own doing; it's not for you to clean up or fix. He divorced you, he is no longer your husband to take care of. Sucks for him.
maybe he's afraid to be
maybe he's afraid to be alone.
He is used to having you
He is used to having you around and likely enjoyed being in the middle of the conflict with your SS.
Also google the drama triangle which also explains this highly dysfunctional and emotionally abusive situation.
Leave your EX DH alone as he wished. You are divorcing him and he is not worthy of your love and kindness.
Not your problem; you are
Not your problem; you are also alone and lonesome, because of your ex.
I'm betting that ss48 won't
I'm betting that ss48 won't want to spend every waking hour w/daddykins now that he successfully wrestled him away from you. Now exH will be alone more often, boo hoo. Oh no, now there's no one to take care of him since he had a stroke. Tough luck @$$ho1e. Stay away from THEIR mess, stay free.
At least you know their
At least you know their plans!!! Skids still haven't called DH to mention Father's Day. Last year they made him drive 2 hours to them the day before Father's day and went to a restaurant. Not a peep out of them yet about this year.
I agree with the others - now
I agree with the others - now challenge to break your marriage is gone there's nothing for SS to stay and fight for.
Your exDH got his due reward. He wanted you to leave him alone. Give him his wish. No pity for self-inflicted wounds. I'm wondering how you found out about this, and sincerely hope you are not still in contact with exDH. He was very cruel when he let you know that he had so little value for you or the marriage. Feel sorry for someone who needs it. Join a non-profit organization and make a difference in the quality of life for others who are less fortunate than your ex. It will be rewarding for you too, which in turn will make you feel better about yourself, which eventually will make you realize you are too good for exDH.