Hi all,

I found this site through google and I must say its a godsend and couldn't find a Intro section so I'll just say hi, lol. Oh where do I even start? Well I have 3 young children of my own from a prev relationship and my SO has an adult daughter that IS daddys girl. There is about 12 year age difference between SO and myself. We have been together for about a year and(heres the kicker) I am about 2 and a half months pregnant. Well when we first got together his daughter had her hand out constantly always asking for this, that, and the other, had no job, has a child, IMHO puts herself before her child, and acts like a 10 year old. My SO would literally give her his last dime and then sit there broke trying to figure out where he was going to get his next dollar from. So finally after about 4 months of us being together I started to speak up and suggest that he stop paying for everything and let her, or better yet force her to grow up. So slowly he started telling her no and then came Xmas time where when asked what she and her child wanted for xmas, She knew the exact expensive designer bag she wanted and when it came to her child," oh it doesnt really matter, just get her some clothes or something". Oh and BTW she got the bag.

Now I had my first child as a teenager and always put my children first and IMHO when you have a child it becomes about them, not you. So fast forward to recently when it was SD's?( sorry trying to figure out abbreviations lol) bday we had an arguement about just how much he was going to give his ADULT daughter, when he complains about how much to spend on my young childrens birthdays. So we figured out on a set amount and he decided to lie to me this whole week went behind my back and deposited money into her account that was double the amount we had agreed on. Also as far as it goes with her that he can completely ignore all the nice things I have done and said for her, but whenever I say something that is less than saying shes fantastic, he accuses me of being threatened by their relationship which is BS. For example, constantly dumping her daughter off with his mother.

So then yesterday we had a silly fight that turned into a big thing, and resulted in me tellin him to leave for a couple days so that we have time to think about what we want to do. My hands were full of stuff and my phone was in my purse and we saw a celebrity so I asked him to quickly grab his phone and snap a picture of the celebrity, so at that exact moment he pulls out his phone, his daughter is calling and he answers the phone and proceeds to talk to her and after I stand there looking at him like he has 3 heads, I had him hold my stuff so I can try and grab a picture, STUPID fight, but we went back and forth and I felt that he could have hit ignore and called her back in a minute especially since he had JUST talked to her earlier that day.

So we get into a huge arguement where he accuses me of being threatened by their relationship, and that his adult daughter will always come first,and implied that if I did have a problem with his daughter that he was going to leave. So then after explaining to him I understand shes his daughter, that I wouldnt get in between them, but I will not kiss her a** and I dont feel like priority to him and I feel like its him and her over here and me and my children over there, and that just cause Im carrying his child Im not just going to put up with his BS. I also explained that he is having ANOTHER child and that this child will not be second to his adult daughter, and that if he has a problem he can leave. I was a single mother by myself for 3 years before him raising 3 boys. I am just fed up with all of it, she does stuff that is rude and I will explain to him that he should say something to her, and he never does. If I say anything he automatically jumps to defending and making excuses instead of dealing with it. He acts as if I am not his partner or his equal. We have planned on getting married and I dont want to marry him when our relationship is like this. This isn't even half of it, but I will be here for a week if I type everything lol.

In my opinion your children come first when they are minors and when they are grown adults, I think you should absolutely be there for them but learn to let go and let them GROW UP. I told him to let go of her last night and he took it as me telling him to kick her out of his life and I explained that no, I think that he needs to stop acting like she is 10 and stop treating her like that. I also explained that if she was actually making an effort to pay bills and she needed help I'd not be against helping her but not helping her everytime she wants anything and everything.

He is also very close with my oldest son which also affects this decision of what to do as my son would be very upset if we split up.

Sorry for the long winded post you guys, just no one to really talk to and I am ready to just tell him to leave and do it all by myself, I am completely lost at what I should do, shouldnt do. Just fed up !!!