Never skids fault
DH and I listened to a speaker at the convention we are at, and he spoke about Generation Y, he was very funny but sadly it was all too true about that generation. DH agreed with everything the speaker had to say. One of the points is that Generation Y turned out the way they did directly from the way they were raised by their parents.
Skid 20 started texting DH yesterday afternoon in full freak out drama mode. Apparently is car insurance payment bounced because there was not enough money in his account. This is the second month that he the insurance payment is to be withdrawn from skid's account and it the second time it was NSF.
Last month both DH and I told him what day the payment was scheduled to come out and the amount. DH even texted him a reminder, texted him a picture of the policy with the amount as well. The first payment bounced and it is everyone else's fault because no one told him. DH was mad, resent him the previous texts. Skid went down to the insurance brokers the next pay which happened to be his pay day and paid it to them ( or at least that's what he said he did). He told us that the broker said that the insurance company might take both payments next month.
Yesterday afternoon the texts start. Apparently the insurance company tried taking both payments and the account was NSF. He was whining, of course he not taking responsibility for anything it always someone else's fault. He just got paid on the 15th ($1500) but has no money. Even DH asked why he didn't have the money in there because he knew that they would more than likely take out both payments. He is broke because he had to pay rent ($250 which he pays on the 1st and the 15th), buy groceries and gas for his car. That doesn't not add up to $1500 and DH called him on it. Skid then tells his dad that he lost $350 cash that fell out of his pocket. Such bullshit. The kid pissed away his money is what happened.
Where we live if you do not pay your monthly car insurance payments on time they will cancel your insurance. If your insurance has ever been cancelled your rates go up when you insure with another company, and this was all explained to skid long ago. The insurance company will be cancelling his insurance.
Skid owes money to DH for the car still, I think DH should take the car until skid can prove its insured again.
DH was in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. I told DH that he has to let his kid who is almost 21 years old figure it out on his own and not to save him because if he does this will just continue. DH did then acknowledge what the speaker at the convention said that Generation Y is a product of parenting or lack of and that he gets that he has spoiled his kid.i just hope he can let his kid take care of all of this on his own otherwise skid will never learn.
Simply tell SS to keep
Simply tell SS to keep looking for the money he lost out of his pocket. Point out that you guys have not found it, but if you do you will gladly give it back to him.
Interesting. Would love to
Interesting. Would love to hear more.. I definitely think this over involved helicopter parenting is crippling our kids. They don't have to learn to think for themselves because we do it for them, and make sure they never feel discomfort, be it every day life, or for their actions. That's what I loved about the love and logic parenting classes we took at our local Y. Help kids learn when the price is low, and let them solve their problems.. What do you think you should do? What might someone else do? Let THEM answer and figure it out.
I never talked to my mom during the day.. The house better be on fire if I dared call her at work. I figured stuff out on my own and their was no internet to find answers! When I went to college I called once a week maybe! A friend was talking about going out on ladies night out and every other mom were constantly texting with their kids... And the dads were home with them! She was appalled the dads got this! Get your kids off your tit!
SS19 calls DH every day to check in.. Sometimes more. I know he likes it, but I think it's a bit weird. I think he thinks they are buds.. And play grand theft on Xbox together. I sometimes go for a week without talking to my kids when they are at their dads.. DS13 forgets his phone.. But it's OK they don't have to talk to me every day.
My two kids that are grown
My two kids that are grown (lawyer and grad student who is basically being paid to go to grad school)would be so EMBARASSED if they bounced something, me being a banker and all, they would never tell me , let alone BLAME me. They would just be praying that I didn't look at their account on line.
Ctmmom, When I was that age I
Ctmmom, When I was that age I would have been embarrassed too. For one it never happened to me but if it did I would not whine to my mom about, I would have handled it myself and hope to heck that my mom never sees anything showing a bounced payment because she was a banker just like you.
Lucky you saw and heard that
Lucky you saw and heard that speaker, I mean really listened to him!
Otherwise your DH would have paid the insurance!
My DH has always tried to
My DH has always tried to teach SD about life but she would rather be co-dependent on BM, and BM has always encouraged that.
So, after SD's divorce at 22 years old, she got pulled over for speeding and also got a ticket for no insurance (and not having her DL with her).
Whaaaat? She didn't understand, she thought her ex-husband would keep on paying her insurance for life! Sure, he doesn't even pay his CS but he's going to pay for her car insurance?
BM got her new insurance and paid her tickets for her. If anything ever happens to BM, SD will be up shit creek.
Hey Grace ! 'Skid went down
Hey Grace !
'Skid went down to the insurance brokers the next pay which happened to be his pay day and paid it to them ( or at least that's what he said he did). He told us that the broker said that the insurance company might take both payments next month'.
If he paid the bounced payment, why were they going in for 2 payments this month ? Hmmmmm........
I'm an insurance agent here in Ontario. I can't recall if it's Government insurance in Alberta (?) but in Ontario, the same theory applies as far as bounced payments; 3 in a term, you're cancelled. And if his payments are pre-authorized through a bank account, and the amount changes by even a penny (and in this supposed case, his payment was double) we are legally obligated to send notification of such a change in withdrawal amount, no less than 15 days prior to the date of the debit.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that your SS is full of shit....
You are right on your guess,
You are right on your guess, we are private insurance. For some reason out here they have never sent a notice for increased payments unless it was a policy change. I have seen the monthly payments change when it use to come out of our account, by no one then $10 though.
DH is VERY guilty of this, he
DH is VERY guilty of this, he completely supported ss30 for 7+ years before DH and I got together. At one time DH has let ss30's gf move in too. He bought them food, gave ss $, paid his phone, didn't ask for help with rent or utilities. 3 full years after we married he kept ss30 on OUR phone bill which ss would rack up doing God knows what every month.
My exH is now doing this with our son. Almost 20, never had a job, doesn't do anything besides play video games all night, sleep and eat all day and walk the dog. BS20 wanted to live with exDH through HS and the past year because he knows I the evil mommy will have my foot up his @$$.
I really dislike the helicopter parenting generation. Parents have crippled them to become a bunch of helpless kidults that can't live unless attached to their parents wallets or just never move out.
We returned from our trip
We returned from our trip last night and since I did not here anything from DH I asked him if skid got everything straighten out with his insurance. DH told me he has not heard from him since but proceeded to tell me that after skid texted he emailed the insurance broker and I asked them to fix it and change it back to the payments being debited from his ("our") account. I looked at him like no F@%king way. He told me that skid told the insurance company to leave it being debited out of his own account. It better be that way or else I will hit the roof. DH said well I can't let him drive without insurance because he will get $1000 dollar fine if caught or worse if he has an accident. I was like if he does not have insurance why not take away the car that he hasn't finished paying us for? If he has no car I am sure he would get insurance immediately.
One thing DH seemed to forget is that I put a stop payment on our bank account for skid's insurance company as soon as it was set up to come out of his own account. All payments to that company have been denied and it would have bounced again. I did not bother to remind him of this just in case he tries setting that up in the future.
It sounds like skid got everything worked out which is good, but I can't believe that DH is such an enabler and because of that it is going to take skid forever to grow up if he ever does.
So I guess I was wrong. He
So I guess I was wrong. He didn't listen to the speaker at all. He just agreed with you and then did what he's always done, which is to enable his son. Sad.
I believed he listened to the
I believed he listened to the speaker and all of it applies to other people with their kids but doesn't apply to him. He can talk the talk but cannot walk the walk.
Sunday he was insists that we pay skid for looking after the dog while we were away, I asked if BM pays him to look after her dog, he said "no of course not " , he also told me he offered before we went away to pay skid and he declined any payment ( trying to make skid look good). I suggested that we put the money towards the debt he owes us for the car that was sold to him, DH got mad and defensive saying " he did us a service and he gets paid cash for that" giving me total attitude about suggesting anything different. When we picked up the dog he handed some cash to skid and skid asked what it was for. DH told him it was for looking after the dog, skid replied " but you already gave me money for that". DH was so busted in his lie, his face went white and when we got in the vehicle proceeded to lie some more to me to cover it up. I have barely spoken to DH since.
I would be
:jawdrop:
I would be livid........................
Me too.. Wtf! He lied and you
Me too.. Wtf! He lied and you are still with him?
This would be my hill to die on!