Lazy Drug Addict Adult Step Son
More of a vent but I can't take it anymore,Stepson is a lazy drug addict,Wakes up at noon , Doesn't clean up after himself,Smokes weed stinks out the hallway where the bedrooms are, Doesn't shower leaves dirty used tissues on his desk near our kitchen and dining table,Refuses to pick up dead cockroaches around his gym set ,My Bio Son told him to clean up and he just laughs and says you clean it up (my bio son 10 adult stepson 28),I have told his mother my feelings on this and she says to bad he's my son,Don't like it leave,I go stay away at my other property once or twice a week just to get some me time and man time and be in my own clean surroundings,Anyone I talk to says they agree with me and see where I'm coming from,I refuse to pick up after him and tell his mother the same,Now I'm in the doghouse and being made out to be an a hole because I no longer tolerate his shtt,I don't know what to do but it's taking its effect on me and his mother,He's unemployed and stays home all day and doesn't help around the house,Anybody else going or gone through this,It's taking its toll on me and sooner or later I'm going to snap at him and tell him off
I suggest you pack and go
I suggest you pack and go stay permanently in your other property. Take your bios with you - they deserve to live in a clean and sweet-smelling home. Cut off all finances to your marital home and tell your wife that she can come and live with you when she's had enough OR you will move back when the druggie has moved out. Then call the cops on him for the drugs, regularly. And sign up for marital counselling. If your wife refuses to go, well, what's the point in continuing if she doesn't care about her marriage?
"Snapping at him and telling
"Snapping at him and telling him off" is not going to make a damn bit of difference, as you know. In your place I would take my son and go and live at your other place permanently and not tolerate any more from your enabler partner and her deadbeat son. Anyone who says to me about my legitimate concerns "if you don't like it, leave" would not see me for dust.
Take your kid and your money and move to your other property.
Leave this POS and his idiot mother to wallow in their collective stench.
Leave
And file for full custody of your bio(s) on the basis that your DW is living with an openly using addict.
^^^This^^^
Are you willing to leave your wife in order to save your bio kids? Are you willing to assume all the responsibilities of raising your kids alone? If so, good on you. But be VERY strategic, because as a man you're already at a disadvantage with the courts. Be stealthy, show no signs of what you're planning, and then hand her divorce and custody papers as you leave. Don't do this in front of your kids, of course. Perhaps arrange for them to visit some of YOUR relatives so they're safe while this happens?
It seems talking does no good as your wife has chosen her adult son over you. What else have you done to effect change? Have you tried separating finances? While some might see it as controlling, I wouldn't continue to keep funding your wife's complacency, nor would I work to support a deadbeat druggie. What about counseling? Have you tried that?
You are in Good Company
With these seasoned commenters. If you're looking for verification - you got it. Make it a Healthy New Year for you and your child. God Bless.
@Chelseaman - I suggest you read and re-read
You first post from october.
There was some gold in them thar hills.
Since things do not seem to have improved at all - I would look into getting out of this relationship.
If thats not an option (because bios and all that) Then you will need to go "burning platform" TM Rags. Burning platform on your partner and his son.
Give timeline of when he goes into his own place.
Meanwhile he pays something for rent and bills.