Ok, my dh is great with my kids in getting them to work around the house, and he is great holding them to rules....the little contact in the beginning with his own kids....I saw the same thing. Well, 5 years later, and ver sporadic contact he has with his children, the pattern is clear. They are victims of us, and when his daughter gets upset with dh, she involves her mother. Yet he refuses to address this with her. Until the next go round. I have pointed this out to him, that his daughter continues this, and he sees it, but is reluctant to call her on it.
So she will call him in a few months, and around the hamster wheel they go. And yes, I am out of it. So he is great with blank and white issues, like chores, but emotional issues.....no. Is this a guy thing? The reluctance...