Hi everyone, tonight you have all been my saving grace its 4.30 in the morning I have work in an hour and a half and I have been up most of the night worrying about SD!!! I have found all your experiences a real comfort to read as I dont feel so much on my own and like the worst and most evil person in the world for daring to be a step mum. So a huge thank you for sharing your experiences.

I know this is my first post but I have really go to get this off my chest. I have had enough of SD14, I have been with her bf for the past 13 years, BM is only recently on back on the scene as she has been off having multiple babies with multiple fathers in drugged up stoopers for the past 10 years and not bring up any of her 4 children, however now that she is back in their lives the sun shines out of every hole!!! and SD thinks she is the best thing since life spread. Which is fine I can understand this its her BM. SD and SS have lived with their biological grandparents since they were 3 and 1 as BF my husband didnt have the option to take them when they split as SS isn't his BS but always maintained contact every weekend and holidays. Anyhow SD decided 6 months ago that she has had enough of living with her grandparent and decided she was living with us. My hubby works away mon to fri so really she decided to live with me. Since then my life has been hell and our relation which was at one point good is now in shreds. I cannot stand her, my stomach goes into tight knots when I'm coming home from work and I will be honest if it wasn't for my dog most of the time I would just stay at work. I cannot win I have tried to instill some basic rules such as a curfew 9.30 at the weeknights and 10 at weekends, and basic manner like instead of telling me she's going to such and such that it would be nice if I was asked if its ok to go and do such and such, which in my mind is just basic simple good manner. I asked her not to swear on social networking sites etc but I'm old fashioned and too strict I'm 30. Any how the worst of it all is that if I try to instill these rule her grandparent is on the phone questioning what I think Im doing and how dare I. so I have shut down complete but I'm still called an effing stupid cow and pathetic etc etc, and the hatred in her eyes is unmistakable. BF is very supportive which I am grateful for but he's not here all the time and she definitely get ten times worse when he is here, I do think she is jealous of me and her BF relationship. I want her to move back to her grandparent I've had enough. everything and anything we try to do she causes an arguement couple of weeks ago she tried to push her BF down the stairs. I feel like I am being driven from my own home as I just don't want to be there when she is. thank you for reading my rant and please dont think Im a bad person I think little of myself as it is, I shouldn't hate a 14 year old but I do.