Hi All, I'm new here. And as the banner reads "where stepparents come to vent", that's why I'm here. I've had more than a few people ask me "what are you still doing there?"

I have been with my husband for 16 years and married for 11 of them. My SS was 4 when we got together. The BM has always been in the picture, but we are now realizing the courts recommendation of limiting my SS's time with his BM was the right one. Of all the things a parent can be strict about the only the BM was strict on was that SS was not allowed to talk about what when on in her home. So we've been finding out that alcohol use and pill-popping are the norm over there.

My husband is so afraid of not having his "buddy" around that SS can do whatever whenever. My SS keeps hours that most normal people could never function with. Sleeping until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. He occasionally works as a busboy or prep cook, sometimes he works 2 or 3 days a week, sometimes 1, sometimes not for months at a time. We've been on him to find a different job, but he won't. We have been requiring him to take one class at the local community college and for the 2nd time he's been lying about being registered for a class. He comes and goes whenever, I've had it with his nocturnal visits, showing up at 1 or 2 in the morning, hanging out for a few hours and then leaving again. Its a lot like having your home broken into. My husband says he is sick of being the middle man between his son and I, which I can understand. He is constantly running interference between us.

My husband likens himself to superman. He volunteers to save everyone, but I get to do the legwork. He has made a project of getting my SS's step brother (BM's stepson) straightened out, which I don't see as possible. When you leave the courthouse right before being sentenced to 18 months in jail, its going to be a little difficult to thwart the court. My husband allows his family to belittle me to my face, and outright verbally abuse me when they think I can't hear.

So my SS is my husband's pet person. He doesn't care or notice that this person is just a parasite, like the BM. We've been working out our problems, but this is one area he refuses to find a solution for. Its like having an open wound that someone keep scaling and pouring salt on to keep it open.