Not only is it strange, it's completely unhealthy, selfish and wrong. The part that bothers me the most, however, is how it is affecting your marriage. The "children" (who are hardly children at this point) can choose to be immature and passive aggressive but I would think, since your husband chose to marry you, he should be standing up for you. It seems he is allowing these issues to drive a wedge between you literally and figuratively. I always hate to advise women to leave men they love but you don't sound happy and I believe that if a situation doesn't make you happy, you need to do something about it. Happiness is so basic, yet for most of us it seems it is a struggle to find. Don't give up all you have worked for (your house) for this. Unless you get some serious cash out of it to pay for a solo-vacation to an exotic island. Molly1020 will get her groove back!

I have not met my SO's children either and we've been together a year and a half. I also have a large gap in age from my SO. It's a little different for me but his daughters are 20 and 23 and have terrible attitudes. He did not leave his wife for me but we were together not long afterwards and while they were suspicious at first, they have finally realized that their father was not happy for many years before he left their mother. Perhaps our timing as a couple was not great but it doesn't make him a cheater and now it just is what it is. At first they wanted to blame me for the breakdown of their parents' marriage and my SO was constantly trying to make them believe I had nothing to do with it but they wouldn't listen. It wasn't until he gave up and told them to believe what they wanted to when they finally realized what the real issue was - BM. However, StepAside is probably right...if he left his wife for you the kids (no matter how old) are going to have a tough time accepting you if they ever do. I completely understand the frustration in not knowing them believe me, I get irritated that it's been so long and I know nothing about these people he has known for 20+ years. They are strangers to me and in the past it really bothered me. However, they evidently don't care as much about their relationship with their father as they claim to otherwise...they would want to meet me. I think part of the issue in my case is that they don't seem to believe that I'm here to stay and when they do...it will be a different story.

In your case...if you are unhappy in your marriage, it doesn't really matter what they say or do anyway if you're planning to leave right? You have to decide what's right for you and like wickedstepmom mentioned what's the point in staying in a relationship you are unhappy in? You mentioned you are sleeping separately...is this temporary or have either of you discussed divorcing and making this a permanent situation? You need to get to root of the problem and I don't think it is the skids...I think they might add to some frustration for you but there is a deeper meaning behind your husband's current state of depression.