I don't know where to start or how I managed to marry into a situation that was so difficult, now this? BF divorced alcoholic wife. When we dated things were still a little difficult but we got married and the children obviously were not in agreement because their BM told them I was after his money.
Then she started showing up unannounced at tge door on off weekends to get the kids. Follow us at games, sit behind us at rehearsals basically for the first year tge spoiled SD at 12 cursed me out when I did not obey her demand to buy her a dress instead of a jacket.

Trouble ensued she ran down the street, three times, demanded to live w mother, we begged her not to, took her to experienced court counselor. They said she refused to talk and she would be trouble.

Fast forward 1 year after living there runs away twice. Finally her mother was drinking we had to call the police to find her. They arrested ex. Horrible times SS was verbally abused for years by BM. My worst nightmare, my kids are grown and well adjusted. BD has Undiagnosed ADHD. The SS grabbed my wrist to hurt me. I stupidly forgave and told my sons and husband apologized to them. 
Fast forward college graduation for her. Ex shows up on my flight, follows us at graduation we take pictures and leave. SD has her live in parent stand ins there. They let her stay when the relationship with BM had to leave. Dad said no don't come here. I felt terrible. 
sSS says I should not ask why she stayed with them and I should not say anything about he sat alone at the ceremony without either parent. He texted insulting his dad. Then started texting calling me a bully and I said no why did it bother you? I did not mean any harm saying those things. He said I will not be invited in future events. Should I stay away? My hisband's temper gets riled by his kids and they know it!