THE EX
Hello All..My problems and stresses are with the ex only, I actually have a great relationship with 1 of my 2 SD's. (the other one has more of a relationship with me, than her mother, but that is not saying much)..and both are very close to their Dad, my DH.. They are both in their early 30's with kids. Their mother, after 16 years of us being married, still hates my guts. (she left their Dad 30 years ago, way before we met in 1997) She constantly says that I am not even their step-mom, because according to her you are only a step parent if the bio is dead??? She also says that all my DH and want to do is buy SD's (and grand daughter's love). If SD wants to tell her mom that we were talking about something, she gets all pissy and says why would you talk to HER? They live about 2000 miles away and visit yearly, and we both have good jobs, and can afford to go the beach for a few days when visiting. She also says I/WE stole her other daughter away..(long story)..
I cant seem to not get pissed when SD says what her mom says about us. SD knows her mother is a not a nice person, hates everyone (almost), has 1-2 friends only, been involved with a married man for over 25 years..and has suffered from depression, not taking her meds.... I wont talk badly about their mother, because I know she considers us normal and rational..The psycho ex guilt's SD by crying if she even tries to ask her not to talk about us... It was bad yesterday, and I am glad I found this forum..and after reading a lot of the posts, I feel really blessed that my only issue is the wacko ex. My DH is able to let it roll off his back, his mantra is MISERY LOVES COMPANY... I just needed to vent this...UGHHHHHHH
PS...No matter how hard I try to be decent, she is not..and I just have to remember she is the one with very few friends, only one of her daughters speaks to her, and she is pissed at her own sisters, etc.. Everyone else is to blame for all her misery...
I totally agree. This is
I totally agree. This is needless. The kids are adults. The ex doesn't need to be anywhere in your life or thoughts.
Her mom is an irrelevant
Her mom is an irrelevant piece of ****. If his daughter wants to say something her mother said about you, next time say, "Your mother is jealous because I'm better than her."
You are. You're better than a bitter old rag who has nothing to do but be a busy body. She is an idiot and her daughter telling you these things isn't any better...
These SDs are in their 30s?
These SDs are in their 30s? There is no reason for BM to EVER be mentioned to you ever. And certainly no reason for you or your DH to ever have any communication with her. That's a no brainer.
The SDs are causing the drama
The SDs are causing the drama here. I agree you need to tell the SDs no more talk about your mother or get up and walk away when they do. By this age they should know better. They are not doing this to be nice, they are doing this to cause issues.
Thanks Ya'll..it helps to
Thanks Ya'll..it helps to know that I am not the only with these types of issues..and I am not alone. SD heads home tomorrow..overall a great visit..it is way less of an issue when she is back home and we talk on the phone..
She is a bit of a drama
She is a bit of a drama queen.. I dont think it is malicious, as over the last 15 years, we have been close, with our ups and downs, through high school, her marriage/divorce and her rocky relationship with her mom..but she talks a lot..and I have always wanted to be someone she can talk to..It is more her BM who is a total wack job/miserable old hag who drove me to this point..