Can anyone relate?
I woke up this morning just feeling off emotionally. I would rather stay in my pjs and stay in bed. I feel very sad. I have a great weekend planned starting tomorrow. 2 of my 3 kids will be home. I will get dressed and go work and try to shake this.
my father died in my home a few months ago. We were not close and his death made me more aware of my own esp as I am a cancer survivor and in my 60's. Time is limited and the pandemic threw a huge monkey wrench into my plans for the past 3 yrs.
I suspect however these feelings have to do with my estranged mother. I don't even know if she is still alive. But the problems between have been going on for my whole life and looking back many Christmases were marred by her.
Anyway I'm sure most of us struggle this week.
Baking. Some of the strongest memories align with baking.
I spoke with my mom and dad this AM during my commute to work. Mom was on day 5 of baking her spread of holiday magic for the forthcoming gathering of the Rags clan members who will be there. That will be everyone except DW, our son, and me.
I am sorry that there is pain associated with the holidays. Some day, i too will have my final memory of mom's holiday baking wizardry and dad's reading of the Night Before Chrismas on Christmas eve. He has read that story every Dec 24 since I was born. Out of the same copy of the book. No matter where we may have been dispersed around the globe we all call in for the reading.
Dad is 80, mom will be 78 on Dec 26. I call them every day on my commute both to and from work. I have for decades. Whether I was driving across the deserts of Arabia or N. Africa, through Beijing traffic, or dodging round-about insanity of cities in Europe, Asia, Africa, etc...
Now, if I can ever get mom to ditch the wheat flour and sugar for almond flour and Splenda so her T-1 diabetic son is not tortured by not being able to eat her majic baking items....... Though the smells are magic enough. I just have to stay at least 10ft away from it so I do not scarf it all down and force my insulin pump into turbo charge mode.
Hugs and prayers that your holiday this year will have fond and beautiful memories.
I love this!
Traditions are so important and you will always have such wonderful memories of your parents!
I never had that and I have tried to create my own traditions with my kids. During high school my daughter basically shunned me in favor of my ex but the pandemic brought us back together and that is such a gift. Happy Holidays to you and let us know what your mom has baked!
Its one of those bittersweet things
As a married with skids childless woman with her parents both alive but mother is frail person, its a stressful time. Especially with Feral Forger 23SD phone call still fresh in my mind.
Hopefully you will enjoy
The holidays with the ones around you. I hope you get plenty of rest and for me wine is enjoyable too at this time.
I wish
I could just give you a big HUG!
Having lost my adult nephew
Having lost my adult nephew from injuries he sustained by a drunk driver, then my Mom passing away the very next year (same time of year) , THEN my brother from pancreatic cancer shortly in early '2020, THEN my only living Uncle dying alone in a nursing home because of covid restriction preventing his hand to be held by his wife of 50years.
All within a 5 year time....I can relate.
Their deaths are very fresh. Thankfully I have wonderful memories and yet, right here, right now I reflect on the last time I saw my brother alive-- it was Christmas 2019.
(((HUGS)))) to you. I understand, really I do.
For me, I honestly believe, each of them want us/me to have Joy and Happiness, even though I miss them, very much
*edit to add, my Dad passed away years ago.
Thumper I wish
You a peaceful holiday. So many of us are walking around with so much pain under our belt. The older we get the more pain we accumulate. Holidays are really special for the kids! I miss those days.