Adult stepdaughter

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I have been in A's life for 10 years. I have been on her (both nicely and stern) about getting a job ever since she was 16. She dropped out of highschool while a senior and She's now 21, has had 2 jobs never lasting more than 2 weeks, and is living here with us with a 2 1/2 yo son. She's been pregnant twice (both miscarried) since her first and has no desire to provide for Herself or her son. She sits around all day, typing on her phone (paid by me), watching Netflix (paid by me) and watching YouTube. She doesn't pay attention to her son because she is constantly glued to her phone and my wife and I get home from a hot factory to a trashed house full of dirty dishes and diapers. When my wife and I clean it up, she sits and watches. She never takes the boy outside to play, so I know he's full of energy and only 2 1/2 so I can't blame him for his behavior. She takes him upstairs to nap at 5 or 6 in the evening and then gets up at around 8 to watch Netflix. In the mean time, the grandson in running around yelling, stomping and crying because she's not letting him do Whatever, while we are trying to sleep. Oh... And she thinks that her child support is a paycheck. When it's child support time, she'll say "I get paid tomorrow". There's more but this is what I'm venting for now. Any advice?

Kick her worthless ass out of

Kick her worthless ass out of your home today. I personally do not allow shit in my home.

I have the male version of your SD. I do not allow him or his spawn in my home. Done deal.

Cut off the phone, the

Cut off the phone, the Internet and Netflix.

When she gets paid, take half of it for room and board.

If her mother has a problem with it, then she can move out and get a place with her daughter and grandson.

^^^THIS TOO!!!^^^

unfortunately, you and your

unfortunately, you and your wife are enabling her and this atrocious behavior. Perhaps the baby is better off with his dad since his mom is virtually worthless. Time for some tough love here.

I'm reading here, this is a

I'm reading here, this is a SD? Stop all of this madness; you are creating this situation. Until you cut off the electronics and insist that she get a job and pay you rent. Put the 2 1/2 year old in pre-school this next Fall. There are programs for children to keep them busy and they can learn to interact with other humans. This is a form of child abuse.

Get moving on correcting this mess. It's your home, set some boundaries and follow through with them ALL the time.

Give her the telephone number

Give her the telephone number for social services in your county.

She will meet with a social worker who will sign her UP for food stamps, Section 8 housing, welfare and food stamps AND wic for the kids under 5. They will also give her day care as in FREE day care vouchers.

And they will start the process for child support. I agree maybe the child is better off with bio dad.

She will make pretty good money with everything they will hand over to her. Then she can do nothing inside her paid for townhouse or 2bedroom apartment.

IF she wont move out I would call CPS and report her neglect and give them bio dads phone number. Still move her out too.

The wife tells me that she's

The wife tells me that she's on my side and she agrees with me, but I haven't heard her confront the SD at all. The W and I got into it a few weeks ago. The SD bashed the bio dad on Facebook about his child support... So I posted that if fathers are court order to pay child support then mothers should be court ordered to get a job. If The father faces jail time for not supporting the child, then the mother should be held liable as well. The W was REALLY angry at me, time say the least.
I just got home from work and NOTHINGS been picked up. She can't even take the dogs out. I discovered from the other SD that she's been drinking my alcohol also.
The games are over... I'm taking away something, little by little, until she's had enough and moves out or steps up and takes adult life seriously. The first thing is vehicle usage. She always wants to borrow them for mundane reasons but never asks to use them to job hunt. Next will be internet....

Don't be passive aggressive

Don't be passive aggressive and take things away little by little.
Stop everything, right now!

Tell her she needs to move out and support herself and that there will be no car, no internet, no Netflix, nothing anymore.

Make it a surprise meeting,

Make it a surprise meeting, like right after a meal. Stay calm and civil. Lay out your boundaries and expectations; don't argue, just say this is the way it is going to be. It's like saying "No" for the first time; it is difficult, but then becomes very easy to follow through with your plan.

I did this with YSS and it worked! It was a surprise and nobody had a chance to plan to argue with me. It was after a family dinner with the other two skids present.

I stood my ground with YSS; that has been 30 years ago.

Just looking at this place

Just looking at this place infuriates me. The SD left to stay at her grandmothers for the night, so maybe I can get some peace. Thanks a lot everyone. You've given me some great advice, and I'm going to put it to good use. I know why we're called stepparents....because we get stepped on. Wish me luck!