I am new to the step parenting world. Although, I have step parents..I have never been one. Nor have I ever dated a man with children. I am with a man I have been with for better part of seven months or so. He is in process of a messy divorce. The soon to be EX wife, is a criminal, just got out of jail in February for having possession of narcotics and was in a stolen vehicle with her boyfriend and friends. A man she was cheating on my boyfriend with. They have a 4 year old boy with Autism, and a 2 year old little girl (who she claims is not his). He has been the one caring for the kids since they were born she was there for 2 of the 4 years they have had kids, and now their youngest will be 3, she missed this whole last year of her daughters life...important time. I have been there since she was basically brand new at two years old. I have been picking up the pieces she left shattered behind. I have been getting these kids on a routine, which they are thriving on (esp the boy, bc of his autism)....they are talking better, playing better, behaving better, and even getting along with each other better. My boyfriend was and is a loving father, but he has always been a provider and has not been able to learn as much about what needed to be done until he left her, and then he was thrown into it...so I have even been able to help him cope, and learn. He is a wonderful father, and a loving man. I have never met such a dedicated man, to his family and his work. He truly wants the kids to have stability and love in their life. She only wants them when its convinient for her. She even has offered to sign over custody of their son if he will sign over their daughter! what an outrage! She has done nothing but move from place to place with no job, home, vehicle, or school diploma...she is even found to be unfit by her family. He has recieved letters with her family members begging him not to let her have them. She has seen them once since she has been out of jail and kidnapped the little girl for three weeks. He cant trust her and he is terrified to let her have them. She found out the little girl started calling me mommy, (on her own accord, no one told her to no one pushed it at all...they have another nick name for me totally unrelated to mommy) She just started doing it...and i read that by correcting her which I was doing is rejection to a child...I cant do that...because I have become so close and in love with these kids. This woman refuses to come sign their UNCONTESTED DIVORCE PAPERS so they can have a court date...yet complains when it isnt done. She wants the kids as much as possible, but expects him to drive three hours to a place with people he doesnt know...AND provide the money for her to care for them!! She is furious the kids call me mommy...and told me I will never be their mother and I will never be allowed to feel or care about them in any other way than friendship?! I am the one who is here, investing my feelings, my time, my emotion...and I already love them like a mother....my boyfriend and I are expecting an unplanned child...bad timing I know, but we are embracing this blessing. She is threatening to get a paternity test and take the daughter away, even though thats the only parent shes ever known, and the only father shes ever known..he cries all the time at the thought of his little girl being taken away. This woman is evil and vindictive. She has been texting and calling my boyfriend about unrelated things (not about the kids) at all hours of the night and day...and will call upwards of 30 times in five minutes til he answers, even if they just got done talking. She barely speaks to the kids, and the son wants NOTHING to do with her, not even a phone conversation he yells no and leaves the room. My boyfriend is having trouble coming up with money to file for uncontested so he can have a custody hearing and we dont know what to do...because at this point she has all legal rights to the children...and the only thing playing in our favor is her lack of intelligence and resources....but still some of the threats she makes and things she says...has really been getting me down...not only to the point of tears every night, but nightmares about losing the kids, and pains in my stomach (im afraid im hurting the baby with all the stress). I wrote her very calmly telling her I loved the kids, and only wanted whats best for them...we didnt fight...the calls however continued and I finally went off on her...I didnt make threats...but I did name call. I am so afraid of what rights she may have and what she could do...and we (my boyfriend and I are lost as to what to do next. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!