Not in my current relationship, but in a past relationship of mine my ex boyfriend had a 2 year old son and was separated and going through a nasty divorce that ended up being realllyyy drawn out because of BM and I eventually left him because of all the stress it caused me. But yea, BM left the baby with my ex about 90% of the time and went out partying and worked as a stripper. She was fighting tooth and nail in court to have full custody ONLY to piss off my ex (which she GREATLY succeeded in doing on a ridiculous level, my ex developed anxiety disorder and panic attacks from it)
BM would show up and take her baby whenever she wanted and my ex felt he couldnt do anything about it because per the court system they had 50/50 custody. After a few years of fighting in court and LOTS of documented proof and help from his family my ex finally got full custody. But that is really hard to do usually because most judges always want the mom in the picture as much as possible no matter what.
BM then got remarried and moved to China! when her son was older he would go visit her there. Shes now divorced again and back in the us but my ex still has full custody to my knowledge.

I would say count your blessing that she isnt on the other end of the spectrum and obsessing over the kids and calling and bothering you guys 24/7(like my current BM does to us and it drives me INSANE). As long as you are comfortable with taking on the mother role to the kids they wont miss out on loser BM, (my ex's son sure as hell didnt and he is a great kid then and now) Once they are older she may decide she wants to be in their lives a bit more, but like I said I'd be happy as hell she isnt bothering you guys.

My stepson's biological mother abandoned her biological son when he was 2 years and 2 months old stating that she can't take care of him anymore. I saw pictures of her on Facebook partying and wearing fancy clothes. But she said that she is not financially and physically equipped to take care of a child. The boy has lived with my husband and I since then. He is 6 years old now.
Her family knows and enables her to have this kind of behavior towards the child. Both her parents are counselors and work with children and elder people with mental issues. But they could not deal with her condition. She supposedly have bipolar disorders. But I suspect that she is lazy and does not want to be bothered with raising a child. It is convenient for her the play the victim and "mommy" roles.
The child lives with us full time. We are both raising him and are financially responsible for his upbringing.She is filling the boy's head up with all kinds of stupidities and the boy is listening to everything she is telling him. She will not sign her parental rights away. We tried that and my husband wasted a lot of money on court dates and lawyers. Her sister works for the child protective services in the state of Georgia and pretty much advised her how to fault the system and get away with a bunch of lies. Thank God she lives 5 hours away from us and does not see the child too often.
She does not know how to take care of the boy or handle him as far as the discipline is concerned. That is a blessing for us in a way and I think some children are better off without their mothers. It is this case too.
What it pisses me off the most is the fact that she plays the mommy role to pretend being all caring and loving in the eyes of other people. She is in denial all the time.
I don't usually hate people, but with her it is different. And I hope the boy will see when he grows older what kind of mother he has.

I'm not so sure I would call this insanity. Some people, including women, just should not be parents. They often marry and have kids out of peer or parental pressure and when they find out what's involved they detach. She's delighted to have you around to take the brats off her hands. Oh by-the-way her "visitations" are driven by the same types of pressures.

Now that the divorce is final your boyfriend may change. Live with him for an additional year before considering marriage. Then if you marry him don't have children with him for another year. That life changing event will change him again. Statistically people who live together are MORE likely to divorce than those who don't.

Unfortunately when the times comes for you to leave this guy - which is likely - you'll have grown attached to the children and its likely you'll not be allowed to even see them again. That's the way these things go.

Lets avoid all this crap. You're young and childless right? Tell you boyfriend you made a mistake here. Take the blame - you don't owe lengthy or detailed explanations just that you screwed up and sorry but have to leave.

Find a childless guy, a fellow who by now is settling into his career of ditch digging or setting up his medical practice. Marry him and after a year start your own family away from all these problems with accompany step-parenting.

If your boyfriend is open to suggestions advise him that his children will be better off if he does not re-marry also. His children need to know they are central in his life.

Listen be careful here. Many men sub-consciously marry a woman because they need someone to rear their children. This is especially true in this case. They may not want more children, probably won't, but may cave into pressure from their new wife. She will find that their heart really isn't into it and the new wifes and children are treated as step-children - no pun intended. This really isn't a situation where you want to spend the rest of your life.

Go now while you have your youth and freedom to make choices. Please give this advise serious consideration.

I can definitely tell you that you can spend hours (wasted, IMO) trying to figure out what is wrong with the bios, but why bother? Be thankful, because sometimes my Skids Bio Mom calls me and talks for hours, and sometimes she refuses to speak to me at all. It is weird. She has crashed my husband's grandfather's private funeral, she crashed our wedding, she has no friends, and when we weren't talking for a while, she said she missed me.
And yes.
Think it over carefully.