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Do we need BM permission for Vacation?

Purple hope's picture

Submitted by Purple hope on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 2:34pm

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Stepparent Rights

We were letting the BM know (heads up) regarding vacation. Order says 2 weeks whenever as long as agreed upon. We are planning it during time that would be our time anyway, so I don't see why it would be a problem. The BM claims that we cannot take them out of the state without her permission...i don't see that mentioned ANYWHERE.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Do we really have to get her permission to take them out of state during OUR time with them.

smdh's picture

Submitted by smdh on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 2:38pm

I'd say if the CO is silent on the matter that no you don't, but I'm not an attorney and its my experience is that BMs interpret the CO to say whatever they want it to say.

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 3:16pm

if she has any legal custody then yes you do have to have her okay to leave the state. I would fight fire with fire if she says no, let the skids no why they cant attend the vacation "mom has to give her permission in order for you to leave the sate, at this moment she has said that we are not allowed to do so" let the kids go ape shit on BM for a change.

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 4:01pm

DH used to protect BM and take the flack for why they didn't get to do things my bios got to do. It was because BM withheld them. It was causing a gap so I decided they were old enough.

I didn't throw BM under the bus, I just kept it short and sweet - if the skids ask if they were doing XYZ or why we were doing it on this day instead of that, I would just tell them that BM had other plans for them and said they couldn't come.

Why should DH get the blame for that - it was PAS on her side and DH allowing it - plus it made it look like DH was doing things with my bios but not his own kids.

If she doesn't allow it - agree - the skids need to know where to place their anger - BM can't blow plans and not take the fallout.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:45pm

My guess is it depends on where you live. In 15 min, i can get enter two other states. I've gone to a neighboring state because the dairy queen is closer then the one in my state. I can't imagine not being able to take SD.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 7:32pm

Lacking anything in the court order limiting the travel you can take the kids to the farthest reaches of Africa during visitation times and don't need anyone's permission.

She's just following the usual bio-mom's control pattern. She's been advised of the dates. Dad should not argue with her further. Just do it. It really is just that simple you don't have to go through mental and physical gyrations to pull this off.

If bio-mom gets nasty Dad should tell her that if she refuses to relinquish the kids on a court ordered visitation day(s) he will see her charged with criminal contempt of court. If necessary do it.