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What if he's not the father?

uneasy's picture

Submitted by uneasy on Mon, 06/03/2013 - 8:04pm

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Family Court

Is there anything legally someone can do if they find that they are paying child support for a child that isn't theirs?

I'm almost sure the bf's kid is a result of an affair and that's why she left... but he was slammed with child support payments.

I don't know how to bring it up, but something tells me I shouldn't Sad

dontcallmestepmom's picture

Submitted by dontcallmestepmom on Mon, 06/03/2013 - 8:31pm

No, do not bring it up. I know it is on your mind, but please do not say anything. This is for your bf to work out.

I went through this with my ex-husband. Long story short....he found out "his" son was not really his. The child was 3.5 years old at the time. He found out because his ex started acting funny and telling the kid he was not my ex's. She wanted to move far away and cut ties. So, my ex had the test done (just like you see on Maury) and it showed he was not the dad. He then had to have one done through the courts. It was hell. We are decent people, and we were in a courthouse with a bunch of women who did not know who their kids' dads were, did not care, and were only concerned about their child support. Disgusting. We wound up in court and the judge ordered child support to be stopped immediately, but he also cut all ties between my ex and the kid. My ex was away serving our country when his ex cheated. So sad. Anyway...the judge did not order her to pay back support, but she did have to pay fees and costs-cannot remember all the details. This was a long time ago.

My ex was devastated. It was really a nightmare. From what we were told, the child's age had a lot to do with the decision of the court. If he was older, it may have been different. It will vary by state/situation.

Like I said, I know it is hard, but it is not something you want to bring up. It is life-changing. Then again, I believe a man should know, as should the child involved. But, you cannot open this can of worms. If your bf brings it up, then go from there.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Mon, 06/03/2013 - 8:35pm

^^^^THIS

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Mon, 06/03/2013 - 8:39pm

Depends on the age. I am of the opinion everyone is entitled to the truth about their parentage, if for nothing else but health reasons. I hear all those stories about how a child gets a debilitating illness in which it is either genetic or came be saved by a biological family member only to find out the father wasn't really the father. Then the shit will REALLY hit the fan.

I would just ask him in regards to the court order, whether or not he got a DNA test or not, since it is sometimes routine, and leave it at that. You might put some doubt in his mind and what he chooses to do with that doubt will be up to him.