Both parties should do part of the transporting. One of the many times my ex moved, we agreed that I would drive all the way one day (Friday) and he would drive all the way the next (Sunday). Now we meet about half-way since he moved again. He has moved several times and the last time he wanted me to do more of the driving and I refused and picked a place that is closer for me about 25 miles for me and 40 for him. BF and BM meet about half-way also but, to be nice, we suggested a place that was closer for her than us. Yes, she complained but once she figured out her geography it helped.

I guess I would ask for a modification stating who drives when and where the drop off and pick location is going to be. If you have a plan you are more likely to get what you want.

so they have to meet at the halfway point.

My DH gets caught up like that as well. She only meets him when it is half way for her. Any other time she does what she can to be an azz.

Modification Agreements, for a change in the documents, you may have to go back to court, "change in circumstances".
When they were divorced they lived close together, BM chose for whatever reason to move 50 miles away (even if it was for a job, doesnt matter). She is disrupting his visitation rights, if she hadn't moved so far away he would be able to see his children without a problem and probably see them more for school events and stuff, now he is missing out because BM is not being cooperative, Not only is the Dad missing out its costing him in gas.
I know a couple that both drive half way, say your husband drives 25 and she drives 25, or he picks up and she drops off.
"Change of circumstances", tell BM to get her butt in the car or back to court Also if you land up doing a modification, make sure she is not allowed to move any further then the 50 mile radius, she might try to fix this by moving an un-drivable distance.
Good Luck

Our BM also moved about 50 miles away after living less than 6 miles from us. DH agreed to meet her part way. Gradually she moved the meeting location closer and closer to her house, so DH was driving more than halfway but we let it go. Recently, BM decided to dig in her heels and tell DH that if he wanted to see SD he had to come get her. So he does. But if BM wants SD back, she has to come get her. See how that works? I don't know if that would fly legally, but it's been a good leverage point for us. Eventually we went to court and the judge said DH had to drive to get SD, then BM had to pick her up. So they still split the trip. BM wanted this because her husband works in our town so it's NO extra drive time on their part. Not fair, but that's just the way it is.

This transportation thing always pisses me off...in our case its plane tickets. My DH always has to pay for the tickets himself for SS to visit (plus the unaccompanied minor fee, another $150), even though she is the one that moved back to her state. Plus, when DH had custody, he STILL was the one paying to get SS back to her for visits, 3 or 4 times a year (from HI, at the time!). Plus she never paid the child support she was ordered to pay. This really irritates me because if she would pay half we would get to fly him here twice a year instead of only once. Like at xmas or spring break. But thats probably why she refuses to pay, she doesn't want to ever send him here. She wants my DH to be a father to her child financially, but she doesn't want to give him any of the rights of a father. My ex & I split transportation costs 50/50 and driving time 50/50, he lives 8 hrs away. And he's the one that moved, but I still chip in my part, because I think its fair. My exH is military (coast guard), he gets moved around & he can't help that...so is my DH (marine).

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

BM likes to retort nastily, "It's not MY fault you live in North Carolina!"

Sweetheart, [/sarcasm] even if he hadn't moved, you're the one who FLED THE STATE you were living in and took DH's child away from him. And look! There's more and cheaper direct flights to two major cities in NC! (as opposed to Savannah, GA) Charlotte is a hub!

BM would be ecstatic if DH died in Iraq and she got his ($400k) life insurance**. She'd get 10 times what he still owes in CS and could play the "mother of his child" martyr at his funeral. Since he has peskily refused to be a casualty despite the IED that had his name misspelled on it (it went off and cracked the window he was sitting next to - not even a concussion) she'll settle for living 900 miles away, cashing the CS check, and refusing to pay for transportation.

SMo3, you can get a mod in the custody agreement, I believe. A 100-mile round trip (twice!) for visitation would come to roughly $40 in gasoline alone at recent high prices. Even at EOW, that's well over $1000/year.

~Trish

** She's not on his insurance policy, and neither is SD. Wonder if she knows that?

SS's BM would NOT drive-since he is 16 (and will be driving himself soon)-it won't be an issue at all-

She sees SS every other weekend (and they both try to get out of their visits)-DH dug in his heels and refused to chauffeur her son to and from her house (she lives 15 minutes away and does not work)-previous to that, DH did ALL the driving always wiping her butt just to see his son week on week off!

Since she lost her legal and money leverage (lost custody of her son two years ago) she is no longer interested in ruining our lives-i.e. calling everyday to chat with DH about her sorry life, getting DH to drive SS everywhere and both to her house and pick him up, every so often threatening to take us to court, walking in our house whenever she was waiting for SS, verbally abusing me to DH (did not have the courage to say it to my face!)-we have not heard from her since last March-nothing, nada-and she picks up and drops off her son the odd weekend she will see him.

I don't know what sunk in -I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

Has BM picked up or dropped off SD. She does not work and they live the next town over, maybe 15 minutes each way. Whatever, it's a good excuse for us to go out and do something, plus I never have to see her ugly face at my door. Win Win as far as I'm concerned....

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein