Games, games and more games
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Custody hearing: So we get our reply from BM back today (affidavits) opposing what we said and half of it is lies and half is what the kids exxagerated to her about what happened. I knew this would probably happen, but it still stung. Most of it is about me, SM. WTF? I give consequences, so I'm "mean". I hold them accountable and responsible for homework and basic hygiene and I've "made them cry". Really?! I know some of it could be her, but I have this horrid feeling some could be the kids. And that makes me mad! They are so smart and get away with things by twisting words and lying. (Wonder who they learned that from...) 6 more years....6 more years...What are they going to lie on the stand about once this goes to court?!
Been there done that
Been there done that sistah... it does hurt.. you get to be the "scapegoat" for everything wrong in BM/SKIDS lives welcome to stepmom-dom. We have been to court so much that the judge finally told us we had to go through a mediator from now on. Skids will lie or BM will totally exaggerate to help her case. Just do whats right and don't take it to heart because its not really about you, BM is just using you and the kids to feel better. Remember that judges see this crap everyday,they expect it in custody cases and they have a big BS radar so trust that. Our judge caught our BM in lies cuz she couldn't remember all of her stories. Just trust that it will all work out. My prayers are with ya!
Thank you so much! This
Thank you so much! This sucks beyond anything. Now I'm dealing with a husband who won't talk to me without getting in an argument about something and I'm ready to pack up and go! I'm the one taking care of the kids this summer so again...why???? Why do I try so hard? Why do I care? Someone remind me!
Beacuse you love your husband
Beacuse you love your husband and the kids.
Thank you so much, guys. We
Thank you so much, guys. We are going to mediation today, so we'll see how that all works out...But listen to this- yesterday, we call her to remind her I'm pickin up a skid for an appt today and SHE has the nerve to ask my DH WHAT TIME IS MEDIATION???!!! r u kidding me? Can you never keep an appt or remember the day/time?! She is so idiotic!!!
So he goes to mediation and
So he goes to mediation and now after 2 hours with the B, he's "seeing a new side to things". Like she has a soul. Really?! After the He** she put me through, put the skids through, now B has a soul?! And then we hit a new wall with the judge being another B and totally against DH's and now he's backing down and not really trying. I'm the one who's been trying and pushing. Again- why?! Why am I in this? Why do I have to keep asking myself this question? What is wrong with this situation?!
Okay, I'm a little bit more
Okay, I'm a little bit more relaxed. But still frustrated. So this is what happened with the judge. Anyone experienced this? Let me know:
My DH/Lawyer walk in to judge's chambers. BM's lawyer present, not BM. Simply a scheduling hearing. 15 min. in/out says our lawyer.
Judge: (she's pissed off and rustling through paperwork) Well, I see you've been wasting the court's time going in and out of the California court system fighting a contested divorce for 2 years.
Our lawyer: Um, your honor, my client has never been in the California court system and only been to court once for an UNCONTESTED divorce.
Judge: Oh, well, I guess I have the wrong file here. (WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Well, they need to start mediation right away.
Our lawyer: Your honor, they're already halfway through mediation... (UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH...obviously never even looked at file)
Judge: Well, the skids (13/14) need counsel and plaintiff (us) is going to pay for it.
Lawyer: Um, your honor, is this still looking at our case or the other one?
Judge: I am not changing my ruling! Plaintiff will pay for a GAL for both skids. Defendant cannot obviously pay for it and will pay when she can. (LMButtO)
Lawyer: Okay, your honor.
Exit judge's chambers.
Anything? Anybody? Beuhller? Beuhller? Did we just sign up for the judge from hell or was that the Twilight Zone.
So, then we try to get the transcripts where she's stated that she had the wrong file and try to file a complaint. But apparently we're "too far in" the process to request a change of judge for no reason and we "don't have enough legal reason" to file a complaint with the judiciary committee and change our judge with a reason. WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE SYSTEM IS THIS? OR SHOULD I SAY J.A.F. SYSTEM? (Judges against fathers)
Wow, from just what I read in
Wow, from just what I read in that little paragraph, you and I are in a similar situation!
I pray you are not in this
I pray you are not in this situation. We ended up throwing in the towel. Sometimes, you have to just look at your situation and just cut your losses. Ended up having also a BIASED MEDIATOR. Is that even possible? Is that an oxymoron? DH found out DURING mediation that our mediator was talking to BM outside of mediation and giving her advice. Then, he addresses it in the end survey on how things went and now the mediator is denying everything. She even typed up the summary using lies and making DH look bad. We are DEFINITELY in the WRONG STATE. THIS IS SUCH A MOTHER BIASED STATE THAT DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE KIDS AT ALL. What a broken system and world we live in. I pray for anyone in a custody battle who is a father because no matter what you do, you're screwed.