^ yes!

please note what she said about joint accounts:

If you H falls behind on support or BM pulls some grand scam, the state can (and will) attack any account in his name and can drain it. EVEN IF your name is on that account too.

Many of us keep our finances separate for this reason.

For example:

My H and I have one joint checking account that his paychecks are direct deposit into. Then, I have a checking and savings account in my name only. My money goes into my account. We also pull cash out of his account and deposit that into the account that just has my name on it. This way, if BM tries to pull anything, our savings is protected.

In my state (MI) the step-parents is NOT considered in the calculation of support.

Ohio isn't like that.

That flat out makes no sense. That logic would basically keep people homeless and destitute because no one would want to help anyone if they knew they could be called to pay for their debts. Child support is one of the few debts you can go to jail for and we abolished debtors prison years ago.

If I'm the friend of someone and allow them to live in my house and then they have bills, I'm not responsible for them no matter whether or not I'm keeping them from not dying of starvation or freezing to death on the streets.

Example:
My brother is/was in arrears by $20,000 or more when he got out of jail. He came to live with me as he had no where to go and no job. I supported him until he could get on his feet - he went to court plenty of times for the child support and they never once came after me to pay his child support -even though I was "supporting" him.

On the other hand, if a spouse is in arrears and you file a joint tax return, they can take the refund - however, you can file an Injured Spouse Claim to try to make sure they don't take your part of the refund away.

Being married and using joint accounts is one of the few ways they can get their hand on "your" money. So be smart, dont' get a joint account or just don't get married.

Remember, they usually take first and ask questions later, as well! The state screwed up my DH's CS payment, took his tax return and money out of his account, then said, Oh! nevermind, it is here, your employer always pays on time, this one just came in one day late. No problem. Then it takes 6 weeks to get them to give you all your money back.

Separate accounts, Injured Spouse, and, I would recommend, no legal marriage.

My DH's evil ex is going after my money. Our state does not allow that, however, if you have a good lawyer and make the right excuse i.e. "re-directing income" they can even look at your cancelled checks, credit card statements, etc. for longer than we have even been married! Women as an ex - as a BM - are, on the average, CRAZY! Not all, but I would say 90-95% (I was nice, bought my ex out, but no kids were born of our marriage, and I have a friend that actually works with his ex to make sure they are doing what is best for the children. Otherwise I know no one else like that). They are vindictive, mean, out to hurt your DH in any way possible no matter if it hurts the kids or not and they want any dime they can squeeze out of you.

All I can say is good luck, live your lives together, but separately, and just pray you can make it until the SKs turn 18.

NJ does not hold a step-parent responsible, thank goodness. I wouldn't have married DH til SD gets emancipated if that was the case! NJ is bad in many other ways though.

When BM took DH back to court a couple of years ago, the court went strictly after tax records for the information. My income was blacked out, and they only cared about his income, and not our joint savings. I'm not sure if we just got lucky, but that was the last time BM will ever be able to go after DH's money. Woohoo!

That is really hard to do, so kudos to do. Long arm statutes rarely work. I wish BM owned something so we could put a lien on it!

Be careful with the bank accounts. I added DH to my account so he could have a debit card (rather than just requesting an extra card). About a month later, there was a $100 fee from my bank. When I called to find out what was happening, it was a fee the bank charges for checking into accounts regarding state claims. And every time the state checked to see if they could garnish money the bank would charge the $100 fee. However, the state could only pull money if the account was over $3000.

Needless to say, they weren't able to get any money because we live paycheck to paycheck (thanks to credit card issues from early life, and divorce debt for DH). After the first incident, we quickly removed DH from my checking account and he just has the debit card that he can use. Lesson learned - especially since it technically is all my money as DH is in school full time. And everything of value (our house, new car, etc) that is purchased with my money is only in my name.

So, check with you bank and see if that could happen if your DH is on your account. You wont know about it until it is too late! I believe it was called an "inquiry fee".

Please get the details and post them here as I would love to know how a court, and what court can order a non-parent to pay suppport to a stepchild. It would have to be case law.

What's next? People saying their neighbor or kid's teacher should pay child support and it being ordered?

That's a bunch of bullshit...no step-parent should be legally required to pay for a kid that is not theirs. Period.