BM Wants To Go To Court
Forums:
I'm hoping someone can help me with this.
If BM wants to take us to court, but we literally have no money to hire a lawyer etc.. Can she still push to go.
Does this mean then BF needs to represent himself.
Sorry not sure how it all works.
We have gone through Mediation before but it was done through Legal Aid as BF wasn't earning proper income at the time, so they represented us for free.
Case has now changed and BF has been working full time for the last 5 months, so he isn't eligable for Legal Aid anymore.
Does any know how it actually works when you have no money?
Means you have to represent
Means you have to represent yourself if you choose not to pay for an attorney
Thanks Melis
I thought that may have been the case, but I just wanted to double check first, see what we are getting ourselves into.
Thanks for confirming.
As the respondent DH's burden of proof is usually less than CPs
Dani,
In our case we have always been the Petitioner and BD has been the respondent. If your situation holds true to ours BM will have to provide significantly more documentation than you will since your DH is the respondent.
Hopefully your county will be similar to our county of jurisdiction.
Good luck and best regards,
Rags
The issue is about visitation not custody. BM has 2 children living with her and we have 1 child living with us (SS13).
She wants to add weekend vists to us and add in public holidays as well. We have the 3 children a hell of alot more than she does. She also hardly sees her son that lives with us.
We just don't think that what she wants from us in relation to visitattion is fair, shes not wanting to compromise, this is why she said that she will takes us to court if we don't agree with her terms (over my dead body).
What documentation would she need to provide or is that if it is a custody battle?
Sorry for the delayed response.
The documentation seems to be most focused on information for calculation of CS. If the proceeding is not CS related there may not be as much documentation required.
Best regards,
IMO
I don't think the court can force anyone to use their visitation or to do more than they all ready are. I don't think BM can ask the court to give you more time, you have to ask for more time. It does not make any sense for her to drag you to court to tell the judge - they have the kids 60% of the time and I want them to have 80%. Hope that example makes sense. Just prove how much you have the kids versus how much you agreed to in the court order or whatever agreement was made for visitation and custody. Mark it on a calander or journal or something like that, I would also note any appointments you take the kids to, sports you drive for, school events you participate in, etc. Just another way to show you are active parents.
In WI
the primary parent listed is the one with the kids. Visitation can not be forced, the non custodial parent either takes them on visits or not--its up to them.
BMs tend to want the primary parent title and money but don't want the kids around. It does not quite work that way.
I cannot
believe this comment at all....absolutely ridiculous. How many of you here are "BM's" do YOU want the title and money but not want your kids around???
I told my ex I would continue to pay cs if he would let kiddo come here.....
I don't agree with a lot of things that are said on here, but I understand they are vents, or just different from how I would do something, but I think this woman is a flat out idiot.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
I'm really not trying to
I'm really not trying to argue here, just speaking from experience. In our case that is EXACTLY how BM is. She wants the CS and be called "mom" but doesn't want the kids. She routinely drops them off earlier than stated n the agreement, she even had us switch the custody schedule so she only has them 40% vs. 60%. And the times she does have SD's, she sends them to friends houses the whole weekend, Friday through Monday morning.
This may not be the case for every one, but it sure is for us. I wish I was exaggerating or lying, but I'm not.
Same with my Skids BioDad.
He likes to be called Dad but pays no CS (his Mommy pays it for him), he gives his visitation to his Mommy, and my Skid sees him only a few days out of a visitation (Summer is 5wks, Winter 1wk, Spring 1wk)
So, as appalling as it may seem (it certainly is to me) there are a significant number of BioParents that do just what SM#1 said.
Aren't these kids lucky to have us! (Go Sparents!)
Best regards,
just to play devils advocate
just to play devils advocate and give an opposing view: we have sole physical custody of my ss and it has taken literally four months now to get off paying bm child support money. she has been going shopping with it and has not contributed anything - her time, money, a gift, nothing- to ss since we got sole custody but she still acts as if she is entitled to any and everything that she asks for. we pay for preschool, food, clothing, the roof over his head, his toys, holidays..EVERYTHING. bm says that we are doing her a really big favor by "watching" ss. she has seen him once for ten minutes in the past five months. when we told her last week that we had filed a motion in court to remove the cs she went ballistic. there are some women out there, my ss's bm included, that want to say that they are the mother and get the money but dont want to actually be a parent.
"Life favors the risk taker."
EVASION
Find the money! This was us
Find the money!
This was us last year. My hubby and I had no money for an attorney and if you have a court case-failing to show means the ex automatically wins whatever she's suing you for.
So, hubby went without a lawyer and the ex's lawyer just pounded him into the ground. Costing us a lot MORE money than hiring the lawyer would have. Get this, PLUS we are ordered to pay HER laywer fees!!! That's what makes us SICK and angry. The judge knew we had no money BECAUSE of this skank and he orders my husband to take money from our family to pay her lawyer who just humilated and raped my husband!! Ugggarrrrg!
Sorry, borrow, plead, make a trade--but go in with protection!
KEEP THIS IN MIND
She will have to have good solid documentation to begin any type of legal issues and if she fails to do so, she can be sued for FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT....
and after that, no judge will take her seriously.
If her claims are unfounded, I would sure get a lawyer, would be worth it to countersue her on the spot ( the lawyer you hire will have already set the wheels to do so in motion) because she is countersued and she will NEVER have much luck in court again.
Just something to think about.
ps, if you have a frivouls lawsuit and sue her for starting one, you can get not only court and attorney costs from her but also more money.
BM
What is BM going to tell the judge when she gets to court? Is she going to say that she wants the kds less and wants more money? Lets look at the big picture. What does she want? You have 1 and she has 2 and I gather she wants you to have the other 2 more of the time. What is going on with the money in the family, who pays who and so forth? What does she hope to accomplish when she goes to court.
you asked: If BM wants to
you asked:
If BM wants to take us to court, but we literally have no money to hire a lawyer etc.. Can she still push to go.
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yes, she can take you to court even if you cannot afford an attorney.
You may want to look into legal aide, place that helps you by giving you an attorney based on your income.
Not a good idea to represent yourself, more so when you are not aware of the law and how things work.
From our experience, BM took
From our experience, BM took my husband to court, we were/ARE broke because of THIS one little horrible person. We could NOT afford an attorney and their large retainers, so he had to show up in court alone.
What a joke that was! My poor husband was so humiliated and just bent over by HER attorney. Everytime hubby would try and answer BM lawyer's questions-he would OBJECT and say "hearsay" or something else to shut hubby down every time.
In the end, she got MORE money when we already barley buy food.
There hubby and I sat while I was holding our 2 month old newborn BABY; and she and her mother sat in the courtroom laughing at us.
The judge did not care that hubby was paying for her kids and our new baby and my three from previous. All he cared about was HER-not the kids--but HER.
Be careful. It might bite him going in alone. It nearly ruined us.
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We've all seen Cinderella; only a fool would mistreat the woman responsible for her kids when they're with daddy.
I am sorry your husband got
I am sorry your husband got shafted by her atty BUT the judge does not take your child into account,if s child was born first then he comes first in regards to CS.I am a sm and a bm...my ex is 10,000 behind in cs and his g friend is 4 months pregnant...the judge will take out my cs first then her child can be counted.If he could not take care of his first child them my ex should not have got his gf pregnant.The judge also does not care about YOUR children from another marriage,your husband was there for HIS child not yours.That is why the judge did not care about you.
Also, if the judge ordered your husband to pay HER atty fees it HAD to be because he was in contempt of his agreement...like in mt agreement it says if I have to take my ex to court for contempt he has to pay my attys fees and I WILL be asking for it.