BM taking SS out of state--no permission.
So our current custody order is pretty new. We went to mediation, have a temporary custody agreement due to BM & DH not agreeing on a few things. Its set in motion until filing for a final hearing. So, my question is, we found out BM took SS out of state, did not ask for permission. Currently, she has a gf that lives there,news to us. Well, she went with SS to visit with this gf. We aren't really comfortable with it due to the fact the first thing BM said in mediation is how does she relocate with SS. If we wouldn't have filed when we did, she would have already ran with him, its her MO, has moved 6 times in 2 years, never on her own, always living with someone. & SS has switched schools 4 times. So can DH do something about her taking SS out of state?? it wasn't on "his time" it was her weekend, it was originally ours, but switched due to mine & DH daughter birthday,wanting to include him.
Temp order states "at all times, parent shall keep the other parent advised as to where the child shall be, unless in the care of immediate family members. Whether during vacations,holidays, or otherwise & shall provide telephone number,etc.
Also states: neither parent shall remove,aid,encourage,or initiate the removal of the child outside the boundaries of the state of FL without prior written consent of the other parent. The parents agree however, that each shall have the right to up to two full weeks vacation time with child each year,during which they may remove child from state of FL. Thirty days written notice of the schedule for each parents vacation shall be given to the other parent , who will have the right to consent the schedule.
Is this considered in contempt of court? This is not even mentioning that the day of our mediation was another day she was out of state, lied, and told the courts she was in the ER but willing to meditate over telephone.
I have proof of the out of state trip.. Due to her face book posts with SS in another state.
Thanks for any advice, I am new here.
It does appear she violated
It does appear she violated the conditions of the temporary CO.
Proof - as in, a post on Facebook stamped with an out-of-state location? Not just photos?
Not sure if it counts, but
Not sure if it counts, but they were pictures with a Snapchat filter, with a location on the photo of where they went/what city they were in. She met her so called girlfriend online, this is the second one this year.
So sorry this is going on in
So sorry this is going on in your life. Chances are you are super nice and you just want a decent life for him without drama from the bio's.
I believe the hardest part of steplife is realizing there are two kinds of divorced parents.
1. The ones that actually see the importance of working together post divorce, making sure the kids have the freedom to love both parents is always best for the future of a mentally healthy child who someday also turns into a mentally healthy adult (OR not and the awful legacy continues down the line)
OR
2. The ex who see's a child as their possession. They don't follow court orders, they don't comply with medication. Even IF they agreed to the terms. And this type of x unless sanctioned by the court (jail time or high fines) this person will never change.
No matter what your dh does if your dealing with number 2 it is highly unlikely they will turn into a number 1.
Sure your dh and file what is called a Motion to Show Cause---requests the court to do something about it.
But remember if she takes the boy out of state on her time chances are she will say she forgot to tell dh OR it was a mistake she didn't read the order correctly. Only to do it again when she can. Opposie I forgot again or oppsie I made a mistake.
Seems to work every time. Once a person knows they can get away with this---they wont stop doing it.
Hang in there. I knew of a person who did what your dh's x did...he filed missing person and interference of custody based on state codes, the bm was arrested.
Check your state laws. And also ask your lawyer what can be done about your above aforementioned. Chances are he will say 'document' for later.
This is great advice. OP, BM
This is great advice.
OP, BM in DH's case is a #2 and chances are BM will always feel she's one step above and ahead what any court order states and what she nods her head "yes" to in mediation.
Yes, I'd like to say I am
Yes, I'd like to say I am super nice, I hate that my SS is always drug along in her unstable life. It saddens me because he is genuinely a great kid & you can see how much these things affect him. Her life is so chaotic, and for her, he is just a tag along. DH wants to file something in the court to enforce that she will give a notice. She is the type 2, & will never change. I tell him this constantly, I have already told him it would be an "oopsie" on her part. She is not very intelligent with the court system, I think if anything, it would freak her out,thinking custody would be revised but who's to say, like you stated above she won't do it again once they "slap her on the wrist". DH eventually wants to file a final hearing, bring all the proof he has as far as all of the homes he's lived in, as well as school records missing a lot of school. I don't know if that will work in his favor. I have 2 children from a previous relationship, my SS, and mine & DH daughter together, very stable home we have lived in for 2 years. SS deserves so much more than she can give him, it sucks. He is very happy in our home & cries so bad when we have to take him back to BM. He's 9.
Yes, I'd like to say I am
Yes, I'd like to say I am super nice, I hate that my SS is always drug along in her unstable life. It saddens me because he is genuinely a great kid & you can see how much these things affect him. Her life is so chaotic, and for her, he is just a tag along. DH wants to file something in the court to enforce that she will give a notice. She is the type 2, & will never change. I tell him this constantly, I have already told him it would be an "oopsie" on her part. She is not very intelligent with the court system, I think if anything, it would freak her out,thinking custody would be revised but who's to say, like you stated above she won't do it again once they "slap her on the wrist". DH eventually wants to file a final hearing, bring all the proof he has as far as all of the homes he's lived in, as well as school records missing a lot of school. I don't know if that will work in his favor. I have 2 children from a previous relationship, my SS, and mine & DH daughter together, very stable home we have lived in for 2 years. SS deserves so much more than she can give him, it sucks. He is very happy in our home & cries so bad when we have to take him back to BM. He's 9.
We do use the talking parents
We do use the talking parents website for communication, is it dumb to try to "co-parent" & simply ask her for future reference could you please notify us if you're going to take SS out of state. I know that she will be in complete shock that we know about the trip. This website is the only communication DH & BM use and both have agreed in mediation that a record of their communications will be admissible at any future proceeding in the matter.