We had full custody of SD and had her 24/7. She was 8 when my first bio was born. She was excited to be a big sister. However, she had jealousy issues. She screamed in my BD's face when she was 4 mos. She bounced her too hard and when I told her to stop she wouldn't...I had to take the baby from her. She threw the baby into a couch and spanked her. I don't want to scare you, but you do have to be conscious of what is going on.

We did have a lot of good family times. We all did family things together like a normal family since we had SD 24/7. Now she is with her mom and my kids really don't miss her at all. I don't anticipate us waiting until SD can go to the zoo with us because she really has no interest in seeing us at all anymore. I am hoping she doesn't end up going on vacation with us, either as she always finds a way to ruin it. My SD is emotionally screwed up, so hopefully you won't encounter the issues we have.

Having a bio def changed thing in our house. Well, maybe I should say that thing changed around the time of Bs's birth, but we had a lot going on right then so I can't say for sure it was all due to him joining our family.

Dh and I got engaged, and 6 months later got married. SS was 6 and SD had just turned 5. Immediately after our wedding both skids went to spend 6 weeks of the summer with mil. SD came back with a huge chip on her shoulder and attitude. Whether it was from the wedding, being back with hw grandma for so long (mil raised her for the first 4 years before we got her) or if we told her that we were expecting a fee weeks after they returned. That attitude towards me has. never gone away.

11 months after our wedding BS was born. Skids were now both in elementary school and daily issues with their behavior, so they were being punished frequently. Attitudes got even worse. Dh was backing my up and supporting me at this point. Kids blamed it all on bs, even though it was their own poor behavior in school, and not that I stopped caring. Kids were sent to a therapist. SS diagnosed with add, and with that we were able to make some strides in his behavior, or atleast some undrrstanding in why he acted how he did. SD was determined to have a shitty attitude and entitlement issues.

Some time between bioson turning one and one and a half. Dh switched out on me. Suddenly he decided that it wasn't the kids behavior that needed to be worked on, but that it was me who just hates them. Then everything I did or said was critisised and scrutinized. That's when my feelings for them really did begin to change. I gave up hope of them improving, I gave up hope of of having the same bond that I had with bioson. I came to realize that being around them did not bring me the joy that my bio did. Parenting them was just work.... A burden. How much of that was due to having a bio of my own, and how much came from them being very difficult I can't really say.

In those three years I went from having two preschool aged skid that loved me like a mom, and whom I loved like they were my own. To two preteens that give me little respect, and behave horribly, that I see as an obligation and a burden.

It's hard having a 9 and a 10 year old that act like they are still 4 and 5. It's hard dealing day in and day out with kids that appreciate nothing that you do and disrespect you constantly. The hope I had before bioson, that those kids could be fixed with love, attention and discipline is gone. Whether my feelings changed due to how they are, or whether it was having a biochild, I can't really say with certainty. Would I somehow be accepting of their crap behavior if I had never had bioson? Maybe, but I highly doubt it.

The real game changer for me was when Dh started taking the kids side. Everything went downhill at that point. The skids got more bold, and I felt more taken advantage of and alone. My skid haven't had a good week at school since the second week of December. But somehow Dh now thinks that there nothing wrong with that and I have no business showing disapproval. Every purchase I make Dh makes comments if he thinks it wasn't in the skids favor, he checks my fb page to count how many pictures of each kid I post to make sure it even.

We have his kids full time. Biomothers don't even come for visitation. Dh works weekends now so I have all the kids by myself all weekend long, every weekend. I am burnt out and resentful. Is any of this biosons fault, I don't think so...... But my skids and Dh would probably disagree.

I do not for one second regret having.bioson (or soon to be born bs2). He is literally the only positive thing in my life right now. I am certain that I would be in this situation right now whether I had bioson or not. 95% of the skids care has been thrust apon med with zero appreciation from anyone involved.

We have his/mine/ours but his/mine are older and love their little sister. She's more like a neice than a little sister. She can be a bit spoiled but they all love her so much. I could see if they were younger there may be some jealousy.

One thing I have found myself doing is catching my husband spoiling and coddling her like he did his son. That crap has been nipped in the bud. I see a a little less everyday. But, had I not stopped him I would have ended up with a kid, eventually, that I didn't even like. Just like Ss.

When our first bio was born, the steps were 4 and 7. They came EOW. They didn't like having a baby around, and made it pretty clear. The 7 year old came around fairly quickly, but the 4 year old HATED (still does) not being the baby of the house anymore. He (who is now almost 9) and my oldest (who is 4) still fight more than any of the other kids. We had a 2nd baby 2.5 years after my first, and by that time, their BM was having another baby, so they were used to it and it didn't phase them much. I think the biggest issue was just the step that was the youngest accepting that he wasn't going to be babied as much anymore. He is now 5 years older and still expects to be treated like a 4 year old. His dad gives into him a lot. I never do.

SO understands that I'll never have the same connection w/his kids as I do w/my own so that wasn't really a problem. He does have guilty daddy syndrome w/the older 2 though and lets them get away w/way more than the younger 2, and that makes my blood boil. The older 2 now live w/us 5 days a week.