When Inlaws and family don't get along and other SD things
We are having a Bday party for my son this weekend. DH invited his parents who are now raising SD. I hadn't even thought about SD coming (she didn't come to my daughter's party)...she is and her boyfriend that her dad and I did not allow her to have while she was living with us. DH is apparently fine with her boyfriend coming...I am not fine with either of them coming but I suppose I am supposed to shut up and deal with it. SD is disrespectful of me and used to hurt my kids...she will come and be an annoying attention whore flaunting her boyfriend in my face since she knows I don't agree with a 13 year old having one. She will ignore my presence and purposely try to irritate me. Just coming knowing I can't stand her being there will make her so happy she is "winning" and I am "losing" (everything is a competition for her). I am having anxiety issues just thinking about it.
Oh but it gets better...my MIL is jealous that my younger sisters are perfect angels and make SD look even worse. She makes rude comments to them all the time but in a way that you don't know if it is on purpose or teasing...I think she does that so I never know if I should say something or not. Anyways, my mom refuses to bring my sisters around my MIL and I don't blame her one bit.
So my fun Bday party for my son now includes a brat I don't want in my home, inlaws that are rude and no one from my family because DH's family has driven them away. How fun for me and how horrible for my son!
But what do I do? They already think I am an evil b****, it's not like I can un-invite them all or say SD can't come (can I?) I figure this is SD's last chance, if she cannot be polite and respectful, she will NEVER come back ever again!
I just wish I could enjoy this time with my son...that will be impossible. I guess we will have a separate party for my family to be with him.
I also feel like the whole
I also feel like the whole boyfriend thing is a slap in my face. I get it, I am not her parent anymore even though for 8 years I was more or less her only parent. But I feel so disrespected and like they are showing SD they think I was the problem when I was simply giving her the structure she needed...but that makes me a b**** in their eyes. The school was calling me about her groping boys in 4th grade...I had reasons for my concern about her having boyfriends!
Anxiety, settle!
I would absolutely ban the
I would absolutely ban the boyfriend from coming to the party. No way that invited guests get to bring their tagalongs. She's 13 so this is not a life partner or spouse that you are excluding.
I'd make this very simple and low key. and then throw another big party that includes your family. Who cares if it is a different date.
Is your son DH's as well? If
Is your son DH's as well? If not, I would absolutely uninvite mil and SD if it means your family isn't coming. They already think you a bitch, so it's not like this is changing anything. They're already not nice to you or your kid, so where's the loss? I'd tell my husband that my son shouldn't have to deal with a person that's deliberately hurt him on his birthday and he can uninvited hem however he likes, but they're not welcome. Why were they invited to begin with if they cause so many issues?
I agree with this^^^
I agree with this^^^
change the time of the
change the time of the party... for them anyway !! have your family over at real party and then they can show up later after party over... then just say your family didnt get the message.....
He is my DH's as well. I am
He is my DH's as well. I am going to have a separate party for my side of the family. I am just irritated that some people are not classy enough to be decent human beings! And I am irritated that my DH apparently doesn't consider my feelings like I would like him to! AND I think it is ridiculous for a 13 year old to have a boyfriend, and much more ridiculous to promote it by inviting him to family functions!
I guess I am still really irritated!
My first DH's mom sounds just
My first DH's mom sounds just like your MIL. She's freaking annoying, acting like she's all that, being derogatory to everyone, snide remarks, hijacking conversations to make them all about her, trying to correct people on their beliefs... oh I know EXACTLY what you mean.
That's why when my kids were small we had separate birthday parties. MY side of the family, then my first DH's side of the family. My family refused to be around MIL because she was so obnoxious. And just knowing she was being a bitch to my family always put me on edge so I couldn't enjoy the parties either.
Yup, 2 parties. That's the way to go.