When does baby talking stop?
Sd is about 6 and a half and still talks like a baby. Is this common in 6 year olds? Some days she will talk like any other 6 year old. Others forget it. You can't understand one word that comes out of her mouth. I can generally ignore it but if it's one of those days where she does all the time omg, it gets under my skin.
She does things that she is too old for like needing help getting dressed or with eating and even getting to the bathroom on time! I have a blog post about the bathroom issue. When I tell her that she needs to act her age she acts surprised that I said it. She says she isn't a baby but continues to act like one. Dad is working on not giving in to her every need. When she returns from BM's house after a visit, it's 3 times as worse. She won't do anything for herself for the next couple days! I leave any disclipine up to dad that requires anything physical like spanking or putting her in her room. She seems oblivious on how she is acting and it seems normal. It's the constant baby talking and wetting her pants that bother me more than anything else. For those that are or have experienced this, what do you do other than simply ignoring it?
Maybe correct her every time
Maybe correct her every time she baby talks and make her repeat herself until she says it correctly? As for the other stuff like eating. We set a timer for the kids to eat and if they play or act stupid like they can't feed themselves, Oh well. Once the timer goes off you're getting up whether you ate or not.
We also are having pee issues with SD7 and it's driving me insane. If she's not getting there on time once again use a timer and MAKE her go every so often until she realizes you aren't playing around or put her in a pull-up.
I(we) tell her that we can't
I(we) tell her that we can't understand her when she talks like that. I will try what you said and have her keep repeating it until she gets it right. But it happens so often that it's everything that comes out of her mouth is baby talk.
With the eating issue, either she eats way slow or she will say I need help, you do it for me. She won't actually say the words feed me because either she is embarrassed or doesn't see herself as a baby if that makes sense.
I did slip once and told dh that she needs to wear diapers if she doesn't make it to the bathroom on time and she happened to hear me and yelled that she wasn't a baby and she wasn't going to wear a diaper. DH said he would talk it over with me after he thought about it but hasn't yet. If he doesn't take the lead in stopping it, I am going to have to follow through and wait for a reaction from the both of them.
How do you handle the accidents there other than washing clothes and bedding all the time like I am now? Does it bother your SD at all because my dd could care less.
It'll be annoying as heck but
It'll be annoying as heck but I think after having to repeat herself multiple times she will just give up and start talking correctly. Or maybe try it 2-3 times and then just ignore her if she continues. I'm not sure how hellbent she is on playing it off.
My SD4 is a slow eater or just doesn't want to eat majority of the time. We offer food and that's all we've required to do. I set the timer for 20 mins and they all know the rules. Sometimes they whine or cry after it goes off but it's plenty of time to eat. Most of the time they are playing and well it's a natural consequence.
So diapers/pullups are sour subject for her. That's good! Maybe it'll make her act right.
My SD7 is driving me batty with her antics. She pees the bed almost every night. We give her the first night pullup free and if she pees then she goes into one from then on. She doesn't seem any kind of embarrassed by it whatsoever. I'm tired of cleaning up her piss or her sitting on my furniture and it smelling of urine long after she gets up. She also doesn't wipe when she pees so there is a constant urine smell along with yellow tint on her panties because obviously if she isn't wiping it's going somewhere. Sunday right before we brought her home she was changing back into her clothes she came into from her Mom's. She walked out the bedroom and had a big wet spot going down her butt crack.. She peed on herself and when asked why she said because someone was in the bathroom. Her sister was in there for a whole 5 mins getting dressed. She said not one word about needing to pee but at 7 she should be quite capable of holding her bladder for 5 mins. I don't know what to do anymore but I'm exhausted and tired of being nice about it. I've tried overlooking it and quietly cleaning it up for over a year now. I'm done.
The night time accidents I
The night time accidents I might be able to tolerate to a point. OK, it's still common at her age, I get that but, I can't allow her to create more laundry for me! The day time accidents I feel is her being flat out lazy. She knows as any other 6 year old that she needs to go to the bathroom. She just won't go for whatever reason and doesn't have an excuse when asked why she wet her pants instead of going to the bathroom.
Is she embarrassed that she has to wear a pull up to bed? Has she had to wear a pull up or diaper for the day time accidents? Something has to get through to SD that it is unacceptable for her to be acting this way. I do feel bad when I tell her only babies do things like that and she will stomp her foot and tell me that she isn't a baby, while acting like a baby stomping her foot and pouting!!
I honestly think my SD is
I honestly think my SD is just lazy and pees so she doesn't have to get out of bed. I've tried making her strip her own bed but it has no impact. I've started making my husband deal with it and waking him up which makes him mad but oh well. My kid's don't do this crap. I have a 4 and 9 year old.
She doesn't seem to care at all that she has to wear a pullup. One time she went into the bathroom while my 9 year old was taking a bath because she needed to pee. She didn't wipe and my daughter saw it. She said "ewww, you did't wipe!" SD claimed she forgot and didn't seem phased at all by it being pointed out. I think it's just normal for them at their house. I personally couldn't imagine letting my children run around smelling like urine because it's very obvious. The times she's peed on herself during the day we've usually just cleaned it up and she goes takes a bath. It's not as frequent as the night time wetting but now I'm starting to worry she will start doing it more considering what she did Sunday.
I've got a plan for this summer to fix the wiping issue since we will have them every other week instead of just every other weekend for 2 days. We only have one bathroom.. I plan to monitor who goes in and out and tear the toilet paper a specific way so I can tell if she wipes. She used to not flush the toilet (and still doesn't in the morning time so you can tell she doesn't wipe when there is pee and no paper) but she's starting flushing during the day. If she doesn't wipe then she will take a bath after every single time. I'm tired of my daughter's room smelling like pee along with my furniture. It's embarrassing.
I swear we have twins! I am
I swear we have twins! I am a bit surprised that it doesn't bother her that she has to wear a pull up. Not knowing your SD but what if she had to wear a diaper like a baby instead of a big girl pull up? I am sure she knows that a pull up is not a diaper right? That is what it's going to come down to here it DH doesn't step up to the plate and put a stop to it. I am done washing sheets and clothes all the time!
I love the idea about the not wiping! We have the same problem here. I know for a fact that it's not that she doesn't wipe good enough, its that she doesn't wipe at all!! And will have no problems walking around with poopy undies until someone notices an odor. It's right into the shower or bath for her when that happens.
for little kids? Silly Echo,
for little kids? Silly Echo, you and I both know some grown ass women who negative attention seek - LOL!!!
Thanks, I do not trust him
Thanks, I do not trust him with the laundry at all. I will start having him strip her bed and remake it when he is able to. He has shrunk, ruined, faded, and bleached the laundry so, I have a PPO and he can't go within 10 feet of the laundry room! Lol. He knows he has to step up and he will be working on that. We had a long talk last night about how things are going to change around here regarding her behavior and that I will be putting and end to it. They both will see that I am not playing around anymore. This is also my house and this will NOT continue in my house.
No new baby around other than
No new baby around other than her! Lol. Your scaring me telling me that it can go on until the teen years! I do tell DH that we need to nip it in the but now.
She is being babied. So she
She is being babied. So she talks and acts like a baby. Perhaps?
It sounds to me like the parents treat her younger than her years, and it works for her. I don't know if you can fix it. Only your DH can by not rewarding her for helpless and babyish behavior. But if she thinks he enjoys it, it will continue.
My SD called DH DaDa until she was 7.5. Annoyed the crap out of me, but he liked it. So I had to let it go. He also spoon fed her and picked her out of bed and carried her out of bed every morning until she was 6.5. You can see how these things might be related...
I don't know what all BM does
I don't know what all BM does there in regards to babying her but I wouldn't be surprised if she does everything for SD! DH has and does carry her when she is "too tired to walk" and will feed her if we are running late or if she whines too much and just won't eat. It's sad, she will just sit there with her arms down while feeds her! It's not all the time but yes, he still does. Was it all the time there? I can't stand it when she calls him daddy, especially in a baby voice! It like nails on a chalkboard.
Yeah basically every morning,
Yeah basically every morning, and many evenings at dinner my DH would allow SD to sit there watching tv or talking/distracting and not eating, while he intermittently shoveled bites of food into her mouth. Her strategy is to talk through a whole meal to avoid all regular food and then ask for dessert. He pretty much always caves, no matter how little she has eaten (well, sometimes this is getting better now.)
I pointed out to him how ridiculous it was to see a 6.5 year old child helplessly being spoon-fed by a parent, and at first he didn't agree... Later we were around other families with same-age kids and their behavior looked so advanced by comparison.
We also had a baby during this time and I think that's when it hit home that the 1 year old and the 7 year old shouldn't both be spoon-fed so something had to change
And I know, the baby talk and Da-da thing are super annoying. I think your DH needs to raise his expectations of your SD. He'll be AMAZED by how capable and independent she can be!
Omg that is exactly how I
Omg that is exactly how I feel when I see him spoon feeding her with a towel tucked into her shirt like a bib. Don't get me started on how big of a messy eater she is!!! He will actually scrape the food off her chin and cheek like you would feeding a baby. It's sickening to watch. I just want to jump right in ask ask her if she needs a baba since she can't feed herself and you might not be able to drink by yourself either!!! They both need a slap across the head to knock some sense into them!!
I am dealing with the baby
I am dealing with the baby talk as well. Not as persistent as yours though. I ignore it (completely ignore, when she finally talks normal I say, "Oh Im sorry I didn't hear you" So she repeats herself again properly). She is almost 8 now and there is a baby almost 2 at her BM's. It got worse as well as tantrums when the baby arrived. To be honest the dada drives me nutty. I sympathize with all of you and the wiping issue. I am going through that now and yes the STINK is awful. It has been so bad that I have gagged on the smell. Not to mention then the constant hands down the pants and not washing her hands. I was constantly correcting this. Now I tell her father to fix the problem...she lies to him and he believed her in the past and is now catching on due to the TP not in the toilet because she doesn't flush. When she was younger I would hand her the tp and tell her to use it....Problem was she wasn't even hitting the right area or going the wrong direction. When I realized that idiots potty trained her and I tried to correct the problem I was met with a ton of resistance...."well that's how I do it" And yet the both of you have UTIs all the time so hmmm. I gave up and now direct her father to deal with it. But yes, the bath every time is a good idea. Or at least a rinse off with a soapy cloth maybe? I really didn't know this was a widespread issue with girls in this age group.
Fruit-Everyone has ignored
Fruit-Everyone has ignored it, from the BM and her crew of men that live with her to the grandparents (who taught her to wipe the wrong direction). He says he's noticed in the past and been met with the same response as I did. So he thinks its better then it was???? Uh no I smell pee and poop because she won't us tp AT ALL. Not to mention the constant masturbation. As I have said b4, I spend a lot of time don't do that, do this (wash your hands). I am very observant and would hand her tp because she couldn't go into the bathroom without me noticing. It is ignored because those around her think "Oh she will wipe if she ever wants a boyfriend". UGGGGG just nasty. Hands down the pants every time she sits down and then wants to touch everything...im gonna be sick just thinking about it.
After all this time you
After all this time you should know this is a thing. No matter how many times you make them shower/ bath, I swear they still smell. No it's not too early for a drink.
I'm with you. I need to be
I'm with you. I need to be clean. Always have and I always will. My little terrors, I do love them, are very clean. Alas there are dirty kids out there. My one dear friends sons are disgusting. She threatened to go in the bathroom and wash them like babies at ages 12 and 11.
It's almost 2pm in Africa, you may drink.
I am positive its not
I am positive its not scratching (I thought it was a long time ago)It is full blown masturbation. If a 7 and a half year old could be addicted then she would be. I get the don't shun them and make then insecure about their bodies but damn private only please. With how often I told her to wash her hand she thinks outside the clothes is better (only if someone is around).....NO EWWWW...just EWWW
And yes, I used to make her take a bath but that now falls under the your kid you make her do it. She like baths/showers so its not an issue. But her mother has never taught her how to wash properly either. So I used to make her do it several times while using a cloth for the front and a different one for the back, but apparently that's just nuts and I'm the crazy one. Because she was taught to do the back then front by grandma with the same cloth, because soap won't spread fecal matter??WTF! (the same grandma that taught her to wipe wrong too).
Not in public (that I am
Not in public (that I am aware of)....I would die or leave if I didn't drop dead first. There would be a blow up if there was.
I am greatful to say that we
I am greatful to say that we don't have the hands in the pants or masterbation here. I honestly don't know if I would be able to cope with that. I can't fathom how SD 6 and a half can walk around with wet pants without a care in the world sitting on furniture like its no big deal! Same with the pooped undies from not wiping. How can that be comfortable??? How can she not smell it??? How is she not getting rashes from it??? I have told her time after time, stay off the furniture until I make sure she is dry and clean! Yes I have to check a 6 year old to make sure she isn't wet!!! I can't tell you how many times I have sat in a wet spot on the couch or put my hand on it! I about puked the last time I did. I do not want my furniture to have plastic all over them!
If she is being treated like
If she is being treated like a baby she will continue to act like one.
My YSD acted like she was several years younger than she was up until almost 13, doing everything your 6 years old does, yet when you seen her with her friends she seemed to act age appropriate.
You would be surprised at how quickly they stop acting like a baby when everyone starts expecting them to act their age!
The stink...LOL
One weekend, every once in a while I could smell feces. I started looking around the house. SO saw me and asked me what I was doing. I told him I could smell poo, so I was looking to see if the cat left me a present some where. Then I got a wiff of it again. I said, there it is again. Can't you smell it? I didn't realize YSD came up and was standing behind me at the time. SO took her aside. When he came back he told me she was in the shower..... She would have been almost 12 at the time.....
Thank you everyone for you
Thank you everyone for you kind thoughts and advice. I am relieved to know that this is something that I am not the only one dealing with these irritating problems. I spoke with DH last night and told him that if he does not step up and tell SD that this is going to stop and tell her the consequences, then I am marching to the store first thing in the morning to buy her diapers and depending on my mood, maybe a bottle and pacifier to nip this baby behavior in the but once and for all. He actually apologized to me saying that I was right and he doesn't realize he does it. He said he misses her on the days that he spends days away from home for work, he basically lets her do whatever she wants. I abou fell over when he said that he will support me and that he will do whatever he can to stop his own behavior towards her. Before she can change, he has to change.
If the BM is keeping a tight lip on this and won't come clean on how dh is raising her own daughter at her house, will we be able to change her behavior if a am is still treating her like that. I just want it to stop here but with a am still treating her like that, it won't happen.
Has anyone here ever actually had to show their SS/SD what being a baby really feels like? I mean telling it to SD and actually doing it are two different things. I don't think she will get it through her head and understand what her baby behavior makes others around her feel like. I just want this to end now or she will be doing this at 10 and at 13 and at 15!!!
There isn't anything you can
There isn't anything you can do in regards to how BM is treating SD in her own house. The only thing you and your DH can do is have age appropriate expectations for you SD while she is in your home. Your DH has to follow through.
Has anyone actually seen how
Has anyone actually seen how BM babies them at her house? Was it worse than you thought it was? Since BM won't discuss how she parents SD there, I can only assume how she is treated there. By the way she acts when returning from a visit, she won't do anything for herself. That tells me that BM is doing everything for her there. What are some of the things you all have seen BM do that you couldn't believe she was still doing? Like I said, I can only guess how she is treating SD. I am actually afraid to know.
It was only last year that I
It was only last year that I heard my spouse have a conversation with my SD11 about wiping. SD11 was asked to wipe front to back. She replied that she thought it was back to front. I about had a mental breakdown! WTF???
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I met my SD when she was 6. She was totally infantilized by my spouse. She needed help to do everything. With my help she was encouraged to be a "big girl" but it didn't help that much. Spouse seemed to undue every good thing that I put into place.
You might consider that your spouse and SD are co-dependent. Mine are and it is sick.
My SD also has no embarrassment quotient. I just don't get it. She doesn't like to bath and use soap, wears the same dirty clothes over and over and generally is a mess. After 2 and one half years of this I am done. Of course there was much more to it but they are moving out next week.
I have a SD17 who still talks
I have a SD17 who still talks like a baby. After 5 years I have learned to ignore it - or tell her that I cannot understand her when she talks like that. She usually reserves the act for her father, aunts, and grandparents. If it is overly annoying I will ask DH why is she talking like a baby and he will then start paying attention to it - but only if it is brought to attention first. It's the same with whining, I tell them that I cannot understand whining and walk away.
As far as wetting her pants - I would take her to the doctor to rule out bladder issues and if there is none, she will wear pull-ups until she stops wetting herself. If she doesn't like the thought of wearing "diapers" then it should stop fairly quickly.
Yeah I went through all of
Yeah I went through all of this when I first met SDs. They weren't actively wetting themselves but ate like toddlers (they were 7 &9), baby talked a lot, lack of hygiene, etc etc. Since we all shared a bathroom I was really involved as toilet issues directly effected me.
I thought them to wipe, to flush, to bathe properly, to change into clean clothes, to brush their teeth. Seriously they were doing none of it...all DH and BM issues.
Fast forward, expect your DH to agree with you but resist in the actual practice of change. He will likely think your ideas are too harsh, she can't handle all at once, she's just a kid, you are too strict. I had to let go of all of it but for the toilet stuff. Luckily SD10 developed good habits and keeps relatively clean...even though she needs encouragement to shower more often now. SD13 is a lost cause....she doesn't brush her teeth (yes they are starting to rot), she doesn't wash her clothes (even underwear which I suspect she doesn't wear too often), can go without bathis for days and days. Their bathroom is disgusting. DH found their toilet blocked up yesterday (for some time apparently) and neither kid said anything.
You will likely need to figure out what you will not disengage from. Just keep it in mind I case you get push back from your spouse.